So We Beat On

you give me ice cream cones

that melt in seconds leaving puddles at my feet

 

we are extinct

and I can’t stop studying fossils

I broke away

so I wouldn’t break

but, now I’m just a ghost in oblivion

 

I inject

inspiration through

music and words

it’s the only thing keeping my blood pumping

my heart beating

 

writers ink runs through my veins

bleeding out my fingertips

I untangle my thoughts unto paper

 

I don’t love you anymore

                         But, I do want to be loved

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

turning the creation into salvation but at what cost when all is lost

love is so hard to understand to those who find it impossible to command

my own heart will not be decieved but it was once...when I believed


very nice poem, try not to slip in the ice cream puddles

[Moki]

I dig this quite a bit.
It's sort of abstract, but not completely at the same time.
Something is tying it all together.

[Samith Pich]

not great, actually I'd be pushing good, but nevertheless interesting. you play with some interesting ideas - relationships as fossils, breaking like bones/ extinction - but u don't pursue this.

If I accept your first two lines as a balancing act with your wonderfully wrought last two lines, then i can look past the uneven tone, but you really don't need the middle stanza about music - tho i admit it relates back to your title. Can't fossils bare secret hearts??

If I don't make sense then that's ok, this isn't a great review either lol

Thanks for polluting creatively :)

[An owl on the moon]

An intricate, vivid write on love and the fragile state of relationships... Amazing word plays, emotion, and metaphors...

[Vanessa]

The first stanza is my absolute favorite, and it sounds so pretty.
And I can honestly, truelyrelate to the last words.
Great poem.

--Vanessa Alyse

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

such pain through love. in time, you will find the right one like i have. :D i have been thinking of proposining to my true love. :D great poem anyway. :D