Troubles of an Everyday Writer-Wannabe

I want to write something that will change somebody's life, mess with somebody's emotions, make someone think. I want it to be beautiful, captivating, entrancing. But the words never seem to come out right. This is one of many problems with wanting to write, I feel like what I have to say is not good enough to be heard.

I want someone to be able to visualize my writing, to feel it with their soul. I want the reader to feel like they can just reach out and grab it, treasure it, like it is actually present. I want them to feel emotion. Sadness, happiness, anger, freedom-whatever the piece is trying to portray.

I used to write so often, but I stopped. I miss it, a lot, but now every time I try to pick up and write again I feel like I'm in a rut. It's like I want to create this magical piece of artwork to be admired, but I don't even know where to start.

I want it to mean something to someone. And at the end of writing it, I want myself to be in it. All of me. I want to feel like all my words have been written and my whole self is in that writing. And then I want to pick up a new piece of paper, and create that feeling again..and again.

A person's words are so powerful and the talent people have is so amazing. I want to be recognized. I want to create something that stirs people. That makes people want to desire more out of life. I want to make them want something.

I wish I had the passion I dream about having. I get so stoked to write about something new and then it crashes and burns. My boyfriend is encouraging me to write, but I feel like I don't have words to put on paper anymore. It's quite sad, really. I feel like I'm just beating myself up in a daily routine, wanting to do something, but never accomplishing.

It's like a constant writers block. And I don't know how to make it go away. Sigh. I'll save my other frustrations for another day.

If you're reading this, I'm sorry you have to read my rambling.