Batting for the Other Team

I was pushed through the swinging double doors and it was my face that hit them first. I was going to protest, but she seemed like the kind of woman that would only get mad if I complained. The hall was like a hospital, white, sterile, but it was dark and cold. Just like stiffs liked it. I hoped I wasn’t going to be joining them now.

I had questions for the good ole detective, like what the hell was she doing in the morgue, wasn’t that a little bit of a coincidence, what was she, and did she wear a thong or go commando.

We headed down the hall that looked like it ended in a door way about fifty feet from where we were. I wasn’t going to find out as she stopped me outside a solid wooden door, opened it and pushed me inside.

The room was small with shelves along one wall, a stainless steel counter opposite of that and what looked like a big dishwasher. This was one of those industrial version dishwashers wrapped in stainless steel. I was hoping she was just looking for someone to do the dishes.

She pushed me forward and I stopped when I hit my waist on the counter. That’s when I saw it lying on the table. It was some sort of saw like a Dremel tool with a nasty little blade on it. Oh god I hoped she wasn’t the female Hannibal.

“What are you doing here Mister Rogers?”

I turned around, trying to block the saw from her view. She still had her gun out so I wasn’t going to rush her with a body check or anything. I still hadn’t tried to gather, I had no doubt that she was telling the truth about the cuffs.

Now all had to do was decide what I was going to do. Tell her the truth or lie my a*s off. I’m not so sure I could have come up with a good lie so I was going to go with the truth, minus whatever information I could leave out.

 “I needed to find the dead guy, from my porch,” I said.

“To hide evidence?”

Crap.

“No, he has something of mine.”

“Does he? You said this morning you had no idea what he was doing there.”

This was not going my way. I needed to turn this on her, find out what a Touched was doing working with humans (yeah I’m human too, but that’s how the vamps label us).

“When did the police force start using the Touched?” I asked.

She slipped her gun into her holster and stepped forward. I was thinking of how I could lay some bad a*s Kung Fu drop kick on her b***h a*s. No good, I didn’t know how to fight, why did someone like me need to learn how to fight? Oh yeah energy blocking handcuffs.

“I assure you, I’m not Touched, but I know of your world,” she said.

“Then what do you want?”

“Magalus.”

Oh s**t on a shingle. This was not so good. I didn’t want to get between Magalus and the police, hell I didn’t want to get between Magalus and a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Still why would the police be after Magalus, they weren’t suppose to know about us, there were wizards and vamps to make certain of that. I met one of those vamps before, hot blonde, with a nice set, and crazier than a one eyed goat at a cabbage convention.

“I don’t know him,” I said.

“No? How’d you know it was a him?”

Damn smart detective.

“I don’t know, I must just be sexiest.”

“That I’m certain of, but I’ve been watching you Mister Rogers. What did you forget to get off the body?”

Well like my mother always said, ‘The truth is always the right choice and if you lie to me again you little b*****d I’ll beat your a*s’.

“Nether Wurms,” I said.

Oh that curled a smile on her lips and she raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t good she knew this much. What was I getting myself into?

“Really? Oh better than I could image.”

I swallowed a lump in my throat. I didn’t know what she was up to and I wasn’t feeling so good being helpless like I was. I really didn’t know what Nether Wurms were used for, black magic, but other than that I steered away from that crap.

“I have to deliver them to him or he’ll kill me,” I said hoping for the sympathy vote.

“Oh you will deliver them.”

That sounded ominous.

She came closer to me. I thousand thoughts ran through my head as she got so close that her breasts touched my chest and our noses nearly rubbed. Okay maybe it was one or two thoughts, but I didn’t act on them.

“Let’s go get your wurms, Mister Rogers.”

Her voice was so soft, seductive, her warm breath against my skin gave me a chill. I thought about head butting her, but I just couldn’t stand the thought of damaging that pretty face.

Instead I said, “What are you doing? Magalus is a very bad. He’s not your normal psychotic criminal, he’s much more dangerous, too dangers for humans.”

I had to talk sense into this woman. Going after Magalus was madness. No one would do that outside of a vampire and the only vamp that I thought that would have a chance was Alexis.

The detective smiled and she leaned forward. Her mouth pressed to mine and for a moment I was a dork frozen in time, but I thought fast and returned the kiss. Her head turned slightly to one side, our lips working together, our mouths opening and her tongue sliding over my lips. I allowed her tongue into my mouth, pressing my own tongue to hers into a spit covered waltz.

Her tongue pushed further into my mouth and it was suddenly weird as it nearly touched the back of my throat and was just f*****g creepy. I almost gagged and pulled back, a line of spit still connecting our mouths like high quality special effects in a f**k film.

Her lips curled in a smile as she looked into my freaked out eyes. She stepped back and said, “Who said anything about me being human.”