Dying Sucks

You know I really never expected to be thrown out of someone’s house because I was dying, but that’s exactly what he Chinese b*****d was doing. First he poisons me then he tosses me out, kinda bullshit.

“Listen Billy, you can’t just throw me out,” I said.

“Oh too much hassle if you die here, be a good sport.”

“Good sport, you a*****e, you f*****g poisoned me.”

Billy’s eyes went wide and his neck moved back like he was a turtle about to pop his fat head back into his shell. “You poison self.”

I threw my hand up and pointed at the rat b*****d. Yeah I was pissed and I said “You gave me the…” but I couldn’t finish as I looked at my hand. It was wrinkly and my knuckles looked swollen. I turned my hand and as I inspected it I notice loose floppy skin on my forearm. I was aging to death.

“Mirror,” I said, but I didn’t wait for an answer as I headed to his bathroom. The nasty mess that was the stained white toilet, sink and tub didn’t even register as I looked into the spit spotted mirror. I didn’t recognize the old f**k looking back at me. I friggan had jowls, like a nasty drooling bulldog.

I came out of the bathroom and felt my skin prickle with energy. This was not good, but sometimes when I get angry or scared, (I don’t really get scared) I can draw energy into myself without trying. Usually that meant I didn’t get to expend it like I wanted to either. Sorta like eating a three bean burrito, the gas that follows ain’t under your control.

“What the hell is going on?” I demanded coming out of the bathroom.

“You getting old, fast,” he said.

“No s**t, you need to reverse this,” I said.

He was about to respond in fear, intimidated by the two hundred year old me, when he started to smile. I stared at him in disbelief until the smile turned into a deep belly laugh. Oh that son of a one balled monkey’s love child.

“You dumber than I thought,” he said

I let out a big breath I had not realized I had been holding. It was the disguise; he made me look old so I wouldn’t be recognized. Oh pay back was going to be a b***h, that’s if he didn’t play some other joke on me. I let the energy I pulled in release from me in a snap of air like being hit with one of those toy air guns, but this went in every direction. A mini explosion of air. I dropped to the couch relieved, but feeling worn and tired. Damn it, I felt like I was an old person.

Now I would look different when I showed up at the morgue, and being old was a good idea, no one would really think they needed to cut me open to see how I died. Now he just needed to make me look dead and get me delivered to the morgue.

When Billy came back into the room he was giggling like a giddy girl about to meet her favorite American Idol (yeah I watch the show, what of it). He had a flat dish with two pills on it. He held it toward me and I took the pills and gave him a fierce grumpy old man look.

“Do I take them now?”

He laughed, but nodded his head yes. I popped the pills in my mouth before I realized I didn’t have a drink and they both felt like I just lodged two pieces of chalk in my throat. I was really starting to hate Billy.

I headed to the bathroom and turned the faucet on slurping water as it splashed into the sink. I got the pills down and headed back out into the living room.

“So now what?”

“You wait,” Billy said and left the room.

I sat on the couch feeling weak and tired, but there was some relief in the fact that I was just going to drop off into sleep and hopefully to wake up in the morgue ready to get my a*s out of the sling.

Billy came back and he was on the phone. How nice he was calling me an ambulance. It was getting hard to keep my eyes open and then I felt a sharp pain in my chest and my heart started to race. Oh hell this was going to hurt.

“Yes tell Magalus he’s here,” Billy said into the phone.

Damn him, and I was too tired even to curse him out. I should’ve known not to trust him, you can’t trust anyone. People just plain suck. Damn him.

“Oh he’s not going anywhere,” Billy said. It was the last thing I heard.

Reviews

[Fallon]

Oh my god, I wasn't expecting Billy to betray him like that! So well written, John, I'm liking Sam more and more. I was originally going to save this to read later, but I quickly scanned the opening lines and just got sucked in - before I knew it I'd finished reading it. Excellent stuff. Can't wait for the next chapter.