An Idea at Midnight

This has a spoken poetry ring to it, so if you read it in that sort of a tone it kinda gives the flow a little more sense =)

It is often

I am left alone with my thoughts

Staring at the roof in the middle of a midnight that hasn’t yet been carved by the sharpness of AM

And when I am left alone with those thoughts

I am robbed by your heart

I can still feel it as it etches away my emotions

My tiny spectrums of thought that all could balance on the pinprick of a needle

Yet is so vast that not even seven universes could catch them

 

Sometimes I wonder about you,

I wonder if you had ever thought about you and I or wondered if things were meant to be

Like there was some tiny invisible bright red string

That led from your ring finger to mine

Because ring fingers are the only finger that connects to one’s heart.

 

It is in this midnight that I learn

What the true meaning of pulling on my heart strings is

That I learn you might not even think as fondly of me

As I do of you

That I learn and wonder in all this time what changed your mind

 

You see midnight has no thoughts

It is merely the vessel for which many of them reside

They breathe here and dance on frosty air that is untouched by the sun’s rays

They fester and breed here, and become ideas, and when you have ideas

They become truths, and when you have a truth you have touched upon something

That is just outside of our pin needle of an existence

 

And you, well you are your strong arms that wander down my existence

I know you or I did know you at one point and now I’m learning you all over again

I know you don’t remember as well as I do but I’m sure I could write you a thousand poems

And you still wouldn’t capture exactly what was on my heart. I wonder if you would want to know.

 

I can tell you what I want to know. I want to know you, from the skin of your neck, all the way down to the darkest smallest vessel in your forsaken heart, something that you have sworn away to secrecy and hidden in the midnight air never to be touched by the suns forbidding rays.

I still wonder what you want to know about me

You never ask much, though you don’t really have to as I am all too willing to give you what you’re not so willing to give me.

 

I can tell you I’ve been in love twice in my life time, and I have learned that love comes and goes.

I can tell you all lovers are fated but one, just one is destiny. I don’t know if I have found that destiny yet

But some days I wish. I pray. I hope for it to be you. I desperately want you to be my destiny seeing as it’s the only thing in my life that has made any sense at all…

I don’t know how I fell in love before

Sometimes I wonder if it was some kind of a fluke, something impossible that was breeding and festering off of some impossible brain parasite that took me over and swallowed my heart.

Telling me that in order to survive, I needed him when in reality he was killing me and

 

You.

You are my cure. The cure to the parasite I never should have let in

He was fated, but not my destiny. Then again maybe it is true what they say.

They say that I’m too young and haven’t found love

Fallen in love

I can say no. You’re never too young. We were born together practically…

But then again no.

How can you not say it’s destiny? I would like to know that. I would like you to know that

 

And I would love to know what goes on in that mysterious brain of yours. Taken by some impossibility and bullied into submission by life and the possibility of sickness. I can guarantee you contemplated death.

You were faced with it after all. You’re a miracle, and maybe just maybe you’re mine.  

I’ve seen things, and heard things that you couldn’t imagine… but you’ve felt things and gone through things.

That I would never imagine.

 

In my youth you burned in my heart and I never forgot you

But I can tell you it was always difficult starting out to talk to you

But once we got going, nothing got in our way

You remember that. I’m sure of it… God I wish you could just

Feel me as much I can

I wish you could just know… Or maybe you do… because

Well in honesty. I don’t want to tell you. I want you to just…

 

Know

Me

Reviews

[3rd Chance]

A powerful poem that lets the reader connect on a very close level with each passage; the words resonate with jarring truthfulness, complimented by a poignant hope for what the future might bring to the table. It effectively captures the chaotic essence of infatuation, and seethes with the unadulterated desire to know more about the object of one's affections - and to receive the same treatment in turn. Its as if I am peering right into the mind of a dreamer, and reading about their experiences and intricacies.

[kera moondust]

thank you so much for you're gorgeously written and thoughtful response =)

[3rd Chance]

You're very welcome. Keep up your fantastic work!

[emmajoygreen]

'My tiny spectrums of thought that all could balance on the pinprick of a needle
Yet is so vast that not even seven universes could catch them'

Seems you focus spectacularly here above, looking and leaving, returning and pondering, turning out your feelings in such deeply felt way whilst trying to work out this love of yours.. his too, as far as you know. Maybe the trouble is that we can
never know a person inside out, imagination walks in and tries to -but is what it is. Some of what you say is deeper than an abyss, some is surfaced so delicately. Tears here and trembling fingers. Will read this again, possible more than once, Tora

[Justin]

Wow it's like you were speaking for me. The opening and the ending is great

[kera moondust]

oh thank you ^^

[MachinaWriter]

Man, I'm really becoming a fan of your work. The wandering thoughts, connected and led along by the heartstrings of a romantic, who sees the world through sullen, grey-tinted eyes. I often do the same. In the late of night, laying down on the floor next to my computer, with a pillow under my head and an ashtray, staring up at my ceiling and letting my mind wander. It goes to similar places, similar hopes tainted with doubts and fear and trembling knees so that if I sought to stand I would only fall back down into despair and bliss.

These are the musings and thoughts of someone who has had their heartbroken too many times. Who is left tainted by the inexplicable confusion between love and despair. Who hopes and dreams, but guards and says they disbelieve. Because in-between these emotional currents, in-between the seams of a patched and broken heart, left falling apart, you can't have a peaceful mind. But you know what? Who needs it? Is a peaceful mind what we really desire?

Sorry, I'm placing my own thoughts and emotions into your poem now, and making conclusions that probably aren't even true. But those are the things I felt, that I recalled. And any poem that does that for me is one that I will cherish. Another favourite of mine ^^

[kera moondust]

once again thank you =) and poetry is neat that way, because like it is something you can put your own experiences into and see someone else along side it, it's beautiful in that.

[MachinaWriter]

Yes, exactly. Everyone will look at a poem and have a different part that spoke to them in a different way. It speaks a lot to the power of words, which are our greatest weapons. I'm a fervent believer in that.

[kera moondust]

likewise. =)

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Beautiful poem about the birth spirit of love outside the family circle. Very catchy. I like the thoughts and your honest writing style brings it all together very nicely.

[SoulSplatter]

Wow, this is absolutely stunning, I found myself sighing, I found myself tearing up, I felt so much emotion in every line. This is pure talent, pure raw soul and I absolutely adore it! I commend you.

A few things I would look at, strictly flow wise:

(Staring at the roof in the middle of a midnight that hasn’t yet been carved by the sharpness of AM)

I get stuck at the end. The sharpness of AM when you read it makes you stop and read it again. It ends abruptly. A way to fix this could be *Staring at the roof in the middle of a midnight that hasn’t yet been carved by the sharpness of the AM* or changing AM to a soft word.



(I can say no. You’re never too young. We were born together practically…

But then again no.

How can you not say it’s destiny? I would like to know that. I would like you to know that)

This part is a little choppy and doesn't flow as well with the rest of the piece. I would consider rewording, or even re-punctuating to make this flow more fluently)

For example:


They say that I’m too young, I haven’t found love.

Fallen in love

I can say no. You are never too young.
We were born together practically.

But then again no; how can you not say it’s destiny?
I would like to know that. I would like you to know that

Just some suggestions, but I have to say this is a brilliant piece. I loved reading it and I will be reading more of your work. Thank you so much for sharing this piece of you. Much love and Respect - Amber

[kera moondust]

thanks so much for your suggestions =) I'll definitely take a closer look. ^^

[17thWhitePrince]

A most beautiful piece of heart-felt love and thoughts poured out here
Your true desires have been clearly described here
Oh I wonder what your future holds for you in terms of your love interests
Ah may your hopes and dreams and desires and wants come true
May he be your one true single destiny

Best of wishes =D

[Invisible]

thinking is the path to enlightenment, never stop thinking.

[Patrick Henry]

It is sometimes, as we grow and learn to even teach ourselves, that there is a design of pure blueprints given to us to decide which part fits and where WE fit within them. Learning to understand them is as wonderful as it is chaotic, and I hope you will achieve this in time, but not too fast that you don't remember how important the journey was to arrive there!! You are so beautiful in poem and, selfishly in a way, I am reminded of JUST how beautiful you are by reading my tribute poem that was written for you out of so many many times I found myself with eyes at well's end, not knowing what to do with said emotions!! You possess a grand maturity that not only allows for you to find your way, but also allows for you to find the truth in where it lies to keep your heart strong out of purpose. Beautiful Tori "Kera".

xoxox -Your Mark ....since the day I joined and read you!!

[kera moondust]

thank you =)

[Patrick Henry]

All the running around inside the mind and having all these dreams you want to happen.... and then you end it with "know me". ; ) I LOVE it!! Simply..... know me, and the rest will fit and follow if it is real. You are beautiful.... xoxo -Your Mark

[krish]

dominant word's.......
beautiful poem............i liked+loved=enjoyed....

[soliloquy]

Ditto as below...i liked it better the second time.

It was cool to read about how it was hard for you to actually start a conversation with this person...and yet then when you began the talking it couldnt stop....that is facinating and something i can identify with.....well said.

[kera moondust]

thank you =)

[soliloquy]

Sometimes a conversation is like a train......lol