A Boy In The Sky

Its my first poem here, but I think I did a pretty good job! I hope everyone can enjoy it!

A Boy In The Sky

There once was a boy

who lived in the sky

And he was all alone

so he cried and cried

 

He passed over kids

that played around

But he couldn't play

Couldn't touch ground

 

But than one day

an angel appeared

The boy could see it

but just a smear

 

The angel saw tears

running down his face

He was all alone

the tears left no trace

 

The angel felt sorry

for that boy so sad

The angel took her hands

touching him just a tad 

 

So the angel pushed

him to ground

There the boys saw

and they all played around. 

Author's Note

Its my first poem, and I tried to get all the grammer correct. I hope it was good!

Reviews

[Becca]

That's amazing for your first poem! Good Job! Keep writing!

[Hotel Mornings]

This was cute. This reminds me of something you would find in a children's book. The lines: "The angel said//Don't feel teeny!//I can help you//Its my destiny!" is probably the weakest stanza. The rhyme scheme kind of veers off the rhyme scheme of the poem. I don't get what you mean by "teeny," either. Other than that stanza the poem is great. I'd like to read some more.

[Michelle Tarnowski]

Very sweet. For your first write you did very good. In this line, "Couldn't touch the ground" try reading the stanza without the "the" and see how it sounds to you. Hope to read more of your writing soon.
Michelle