Betterfly

Not quite thirteen

In soft, satin blouses

With a taste for tradition

In light hued, stone houses

 

Her chestnut brown hair

Delightfully long

A style one demands

Be feted in song

 

Petite, slender body

Delicate treasure

To be bottled and stored

Locked up for good measure

 

Inquisitive glares

From dark, sultry eyes

Bore holes through one’s being

Uncannily wise

 

Soft, pouty lips

Sport questions galore

Purse maddingly taut

Exacting much more

 

This beautiful child

God’s gift to me

Must spread wings and fly

And flit about free

 

Reviews

[kenneth]

My daughter has read this piece and was indeed flattered. All I can say is this poem presents a father who sees the burgeoning woman in his daughter and realizes, although reluctantly, that she is a gift who must be free to interact with the world. Incestuous?...please

peace,
kennth

[holly]

Oh boy, did you outline the behaviour of a teen daughter with her dad! She tries out everything on him, because he's safe (or most of them are) before trying it out on her peers. It's all posturing and learning what her power can do. And the last stanza says it lightly, not emphasizing the loss of the "child". Good.

[Mark Pearce]

Certainly a more sensuous and understanding perspective than most fathers would be able to muster, but it has a beauty to it.

A daughter might find it very flattering piece. I don't know....somebody ask one.

[Janyce Helen Van Es]

haha-Fluffer must not be a father of a teenage girl. A father's point of view for sure-wants to protect that girl from male preditors. That's how I took it. My father looked at me that way-and I wanted my freedom and he wanted me locked up until I turned 18.-no-30.

[Butch Decatoria]

Betterfly? or Butterfly?

This piece almost seems incestuous, if this is about a daughter... or is it? There seems to be a sensual undertone to it, as if someone who is or has coveted and even lusted for this "betterfly".
for example:

"petite, slender body
delicate treasure
to be bottled and stored
locked up for good measure"

does a father write about their child like this? I don't know... if I'm mistaken, i apologize.
as with the rhyme, it's simple and lacks metaphor or poetic devices, allusions or a message to it--the moral of this poem is....??

"soft, pouty lips
sport questions galore
purse maddingly taut
exacting much more"

who are you discribing? i'm on my curiosity like a cat on the books, titled with mice...

~PFluffer~

[Deseret]

this is a very nice poem, sweet, but i got the impression that you were saying somethings just to make the rhyme, like treasure and measure, i don't know, it was nice