Nightly Visits

“Catch me if you can!”

 

A shout in the night.

 

Dodging and darting between the trees.  Lingering upon the bending branches. 

Beckoning me closer to the inviting darkness of night and the forest's canopy.

I search for comfort and familiarity.

 

Laughter resounds.

 

Calling back across the rice paddy

I lose myself in echoes that distort the original sound. “We aren't the origin of this land,” 

I think to myself.  But, the thought is brief.

And I am eager to press on and forget my slip into the desperation of maturity.

 

Moonlight above shines down.

It falls like rain upon me and I shimmer.

Covered in liquid fire.

Bare shoulders greeting the outstretched arms of my sister.

 

Mother and father told me sister lives in the sky.

Her home is in the moon's smile. Right in the cracks between the teeth.

 

Tonight we met halfway.

 

She ran across the sky

And I across the fields.

 

She smiles.  I smile. She embraces me. But, then suddenly whispers “goodbye.”

 

Then, she again is gone.

And my chest grows heavier.  Heaving with longing to cross over into the untamed

And smile with sister in the moon.

But, I am a wretch yet. With no wings to fly.

 

I return to my thatched-hut life. Stomach empty and body weary.

Time returns to me.

And the smile of the moon seems to laugh at my frailty and distress

As I frown and return to my pangs of hunger and days of endless toil.

 

Reviews

[Clint Hale]

"Her home is in the moon's smile. Right in the cracks between the teeth."

That is a stunning line, and very well thought-out/placed within the poem. Being the person I am I always appreciate how words that ring with sad tones can sometimes be truer interpretations of life, and our misery therein, than those of euphoria. You've crafted a wonderful emotion here, Kenji. A sense of longing, hopelessness, and an unrelenting will to struggle on, without the ones we love, have made this a truly wonderful read.

[Bayside]

This is a great one. The first three bits draw me right in and I start to see this play out like a movie in my mind, but also clearly from the narrators view. I imagine some might contest that "she ran across the sky and I across the fields" could be tacky, but they would be idiots. alone, maybe, but in this poem they are strong words that work well as the paradox of being and acting together while remaining seperate, and making the latter concrete in the end of the poem concretes the feeling of loss. i admire your ability to tell this story as your own, even as it may be others.

[Cathiesblog]

Genius work !..wow..a true master of poetry !!

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Eerie. I like how deep and dark it seems to be. I admire how mysterious it sounds in my head and, even reading it out loud. It sounds like a ghost story (which is what makes it even better!) and it just sends chills down my spine! Very well-done! ^^

Ironically Yours, -Blade and Blood

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

What stunning imagery in this work - the idea of the sister in the moon's smile and meeting her halfway gives hope still that is very powerful almost outweighing the difficulties he/she is struggling with. A wonderfully creative tale. Thank you for sharing.
Light,
Siddartha

[Dysis]

I like it (notice, your reviews are MUCH longer than mine). I enjoyed reading this. It made me think of a 17th century woman running into the darkness. But then again, I have an over rereactive imagination. Good work!

[Babbette Francis]

I love your way of telling things in poetry. You're brilliant.
I'll be back to read more! : )

[Sarah E.G.]

Only two typos, but you already know about them from another review :P I'm loving the imagery here again. Sheesh... There isn't ENOUGH I can say about how much I love the way you've set this up... The words weave a beautifully sad picture, leaving you with the feelings that are raw but pushed gently into your brain by the speaker in your poem. Does that make sense? Probably not. In any case: WELL DONE!

[Rain]

I like this style. It is edgier, and has much more depth to it. I definately would stay thin path. Two minor typos.. she, and smile. Great job.. Rain