Black Rain

Dawn twice betided that doomsday morning;

conventionally with a c**k’s crow -- then

without warning, three hours later, when

Hades unleashed the gates of Tartarus …  

Cerberus ran amok through the streets of Midnight.

The bedazzling cloud of John’s revelation

suddenly clear and unmistakable --

Olympus no longer impartial, weary

of the colicky kids continuous bleating,

had finally chosen a side, determined

a champion among the querulous tribes

constantly underfoot, demanding favors.

Those who survived Mrs. Tibbets’s little boy

would live the rest of their lives haunted by

visons, spirits they couldn’t name, always

certain of one thing -- Hell came with a black rain.

Ken e Bujold

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

So much improved with the better opeing! Brava, Ken, Brava.

[W. Barrett Munn]

“That”=A+. But what became of Ares?

[Ken e Bujold]

this is old version, not the updated you saw. probably post new one, but at moment between new work and editing, its still in the to do pile

[emmajoygreen]

Just lost a super review.. can I remember what said.. doubtful!

You so often create a leading and sub-story/storey.. one to lead and one to follow. And (tut tut) in this you've mixed and muddled truth - as known and a man's supposition or composition. . Could be time and motion here, perhaps with an intended touch of wit. Dawn has always had its motion.. what lies ahead could mean a loss of one?.

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

Dear Ken e Bujold, I like it, funny, graphic, but I like the whole nightmare, the mentioning of rain, black rain, and all the imagery, great write!
---Maynard

[Ookpik]

Hey Ken,

I second Titilayo below - really strong, layered work.

"determined a loser from the bounty of colicky babes
squabbling over the spilled milk of their nascent empires."

Damn - super impressive!

[Ken e Bujold]

thanks for stopping by O. Glad you enjoyed the poem

[Titilayo Sarah Eguridu]

Did I imagine a dual plot?
The c**k crowing( The denial of Christ by Peter)
Hades slipping by( The crucifixion of Jesus Christ)
My favorite part was “God, no longer neutral, had chosen a side”
Twining the past to a present story…
“ Those who survived Mrs Tibbet’s little boy”
This is fantastic story craftsmanship Ken.

[Ken e Bujold]

yes there is a duality at play. Key to unlocking poem is in the "those who survived" line. Mrs Tibbetts's little boy was Cpt Paul Tibbets who piloted the Enola Gay that dropped the Little Boy atomic bomb on Hiroshima.
The double dawn of Aug, 6, 1945.
Religion plays a role in my work quite often, as a way of conjoining thoughts/themes to metaphors that squeeze the senses of our morality.

Glad you enjoyed the work T

[Titilayo Sarah Eguridu]

O wow!
I quite enjoyed reading your work…it’s brilliant.
There is a great show of craftsmanship in your work.
I will be stopping by more often.
I will also do some research on Mrs. Tibbet’s boy.
I have read about the Hiroshima war but didn’t pay much attention.
Thank you so much Ken.
You make reading worthwhile