Tale of a Tiger's Revenge

When I was a child, I feared spoons

More than tigers. In my imagination

I could always outrun the appetent cat,

Find an elephant to shinny.

 

Or if cornered, you simply tugged a whisker --

Or farted -- as every boy knew --

A kitty’s olfactory receptors were highly sensitized,  

Averse to gas and fingers.

 

Unfortunately, my mother wasn’t so easily repelled.

She shaved. Knew how to climb, as I’d repeatedly discover,

And a diabolical two-stroke method of dispensing a licking --

One to clear the air, second across the a*s.  

 

In time, I’d learn to worship tigers,

The lap of a paper tongue along my thighs

A pleasure unlike any other imaginable pursuit --

But the spoon … I’d rather stick a fork in my eye.

Ken e Bujold 

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

On that last line I am in total agreement. And the rest as well. Still have an aversion to cutlery.
Excellent write where your wit really shines. Although I would also hate to be your cat.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Truly delightful. A true contribution to the poetic library.

[Arundass TP]

This is beautiful and attractive energetic poem. Full of visions. Good work 👍

[emmajoygreen]

Memories like yours don't appear too often (to my knowledge never before in fourteen or so years) and consequently, are far more than unusual - they're unique, sir!
Can imagine these finely arranged words being read, maybe enacted by a fireside, outdoors, 'interesting' echoes whispering in the all around. This could be a tale to tell little 'uns and/but - imagine what tales the spoons could tell if had the appropriate thesaurus on hand! Being serious, your writing sails so smoothly down the page, makes for the visual touch plus, in a way, is the the emotional recall of a youngster. That said,

'Or if cornered, you simply tugged a whisker --
Or farted -- as every boy knew --
A kitty’s olfactory receptors were highly sensitized,
Averse to gas and fingers'

I let out an awful laugh at that point - being the lady I am.. not! Will assume that is the truth and nothing but. Many thanks for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I remember one time when I got bigger, my mom tried to hit me and I stopped her by blocking her hand.
She said if I ever did that again she would break my arm.
I later asked her if she really would have. She said, "don't try me."
I think a fork in my eye would have been better.
j.

[Lorry]

I can so empathise with you Ken. We all have our Kryptonite and never once did I think a tiger would get the better of me, but to this day I still refuse to eat jello, for the simple fact that I refuse to eat anything onn my plate that is still moving! .... Come to think of it, I refuse to eat anything with a face, which is why I'm a stranger to most seafood restaurants! 😀

[Vol]

Ken,
Hahaha! RAWR! The sound of my father's belt, my mom's switch... we learned early on, though, that if we ran, it would be far worse for us. Well, except the trauma was all noise, and only seemed like it hurt.
Vol