My Advice

A leg up and I am off and

somehow in alignment. The invitation to 

linger a little no longer hinges 

on whether my morning has had a black-

coffee bounce or -- 

at some point one simply needs to piss.

How this monumental decision is arrived at --

which of the pneumatic instruments one opts to play 

the key of life from is mostly a matter of direction --  

your mentor’s hydraulic preferences.

While I chose the accordion, it’s only because 

I lacked the olfactory skills to grind 

a monkey into the peanut butter and jelly sonata 

expected of a first-rate Bavarian baristo.

It’s a cut-throat vocation -- this doggie dinks 

dingo of pretentious pedigrees, summa cum

lauder of who’s greater indebtedness to the meaningless 

baubles of post-Cuauhtémoc speaks the loudest -- 

unshackles the most shekels … 

but my advice is -- stay in the moment, 

don’t let yourself become distracted by 

the Frenchman’s pendulum. If you must 

deconstruct, deconstruct the daily diet 

of red wigglers ringing the white-board 

of the Waste Land …

because all the s**t you swallow is eventually 

the s**t you’ll be throwing overboard.  

Ken e Bujold

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was delectable. I swallowed a good deal of s**t in college that I've since thrown-up overboard. I'm saving my own skin for a new covering of The Necronomicon. Old Cthulhu and I will be summoning up our own s**t post mortem. I do wish I could come back and haunt a few of my professors. I should have been a pair of ragged claws, scuttling. But I'll settle for some octopus arms and cuttlefish cuddles. I'll be constantly shape-shifting and oh, so colorful. It is time for my black coffee but I've been awake all night. A small rodent invaded my space and kept chewing his way into my delicate ambition of sleep. You can read all about him in my latest poem. I've immortalized him in verse. Of course I killed the little b*****d in real life but at least he got a poem out of it. What will I get? A few words carved by some greeting card verse hack on a lonely, cold piece of marble? I think the mouse got the better end of that bargain. (laughing) I enjoyed the read, my friend. Keep belting them out and I'll keep cheering you on from the sidelines. F.

[Chris Shaw]

Funny. The Frenchman’s pendulum. Never heard that one before. Over here men point Percy at the porcelain. Certainly an interesting way to look at having a dump though. A fine stream of words. Flows like a dream Ken:)

[Ken e Bujold]

tell you (just you, unless others read the comments) what the frenchman's pendulum refers to...Michael Foucault, father of the concept of deconstruction, one of the modern scourges of lit depts world wide

[Perdition]

I remember this sorta gunner's spit that use to face me off and then some...perfectly rolling, line after line, and using that grit to push at sway...Fire without apology...right? Still does, Like a stare-off into the sun, maybe another part of the rage that burns and bleeds into the sand after the sea has been alleviated. Wonderful and far too many staccato lines for me to pick as favorites.. but didn't blink for a second, seriously! Never a lack of inspiration~ Thank you, Ken!!

[willweb]

Ha, now this took.me on a zigzagging journey where cellophane elephants trumpet the success of this madcap piece of writing. To cool fir words

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

So very true. Enjoyed the humorous wisdom in these words Ken. A profound truthful message with a few laughs thrown in. Great work my friend.

[Betty Hermelee]

I love your advice Ken, and I like this spoof write on GO when you have to GO!...don't hold it in and think of other worldly things.s.. it really doesn't matter at this point in your daily dumping....use everything you have to make your day pleasant...not thinking too much about the Frenchman or the Bavarian Bistro, or the Frenchman's pendulum.....stay in the moment....and bare your soul....
Very comic and an enjoyable read....
Best, B

[W. Barrett Munn]

What a delight to read when held captive by a master who can use all the tools effortlessly while tipping his cap to Frenchmen and Eliot.

Winston

[Ken e Bujold]

thank you sir, who knew the morning constitutional could be waxed so poetical :)

[Lorry]

The French man's pendulum? Is that what you call it? It will be forever called that from now on in my head at least😊
Why is it we all turn into mathematicians first thing in the morning, trying to calculate the absolute point of no return, simply to exercise the bladder to bursting point and making it from the comfort of the bed to loo with zero time wastage and hopefully dry feet... Only to refill upon realise with as much liquid caffeine as possible? 😊
If we ever do figure out time travel, I'm sure the first journey will be from bed to loo and back 😊