Dear Lugubrious

"already editing it LOL"

Well, my friend, sad to say, bitter men die 

everyday. My advice is -- fifty chin ups. 

And if that won’t do 

to mend your achy-breaky 

a ripped pectoral should open up 

doors to other dens 

of iniquity. Girdles, 

as we both know, come in multitudes of sizes, 

a rainbow of shades … 

tousled, ragdolls, bobbed …

Mancs, Muscovites … pretty 

much every nation breeds a distinctive 

purr of Felicity. As mousers 

the cheese undoubtedly denotes 

which alleyway … 

Camembert, less cream but better cholesterol, 

Is a personal fave -- though 

the gentle Brie, or a sassy Fontina 

go well with a stout port. 

The more crumbly Wensleydale 

requires a little more initiative -- cranberries 

or apricots to accent the fruity 

flavor. In season kippers 

if a tad expensive, will add a nip to the romantic …

 

Especially in the spring when 

the biological imperative begins to heat 

up the pheromones … 

once the harp of always a maid 

plays havoc on a girl’s ringlets --

even an off kilter stinking bishop 

stands a better than passing chance … 

so long as he’s got a standing leg. 

So, as a friend, dear friend a word 

to the wise: buck up, invest in a good spruce … 

and by God, attend to your opening gambit: 

blue balls be damned, you’re too young to be grieving. 

Ken e Bujold

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Wow. There’s a whole lot of stuff going on here. I studied Shakespeares’s Julius Caesar so your opening lines I got. There’s a lot of women and a lot of cheese here. At the mention of girdles you got me remembering my Nan’s flesh coloured laced and boned monsters lol. Sounds like a message to a mate who has blue balls and needs to get out of the doldrums and get active. A fun poem patched full. Had to read it three times.

Chris

[Ken e Bujold]

thanks chris. began as you note with riff on Anthony's praise of Caesar, then somehow i got thinking about cats...everything up to Felicity is an actual cat breed, which led to cheese...which in the odd mind of this poet makes for a poem

[Chris Shaw]

Ha! Just goes to show, you never know what’s in the mind of another poet :)

[W. Barrett Munn]

I don’t know-this strikes me as a little cheesy. :-) But not bad for Dear Heloise.

Winston

[Ken e Bujold]

this one is about as odd as my brain can get by times.
the opening is believe it or not a riff on Willy Shakes opening to Mark Anthony's burying of Cesar.
then came the cats: tousled, ragdoll, all the way to Felicity are real breeds of felines. which led to cheese: how could i not include types such as off kilter and stinking bishop. I had more fun going down the rabbit holes of research than i did writng it, and writing it was fun

[W. Barrett Munn]

Definitely a keeper.