The Rose Elegies (I)

The silhouette of an old noir

flickers through the 3 am surf 

intended to keep you at bay;

but then I remember how much 

of an admiration you had for Dietrichson, 

the way she wore her hats, 

and I’m right back where you left me. 

The cold stones of the harbor 

steps sinking into the fog of a departure

I hadn’t prepared for. Now 

how I collect the random minutia 

of all those places, scenes 

seared into memory, seems like

the last futile act of the hapless 

pigeon, feet settling 

into the waiting cement of the long goodbye. 

Ken e Bujold 

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

If I were your editor:
"steps sinking into the fog of a departure
I hadn’t prepared for. Now "
would have this suggested change:
"steps sinking into the fog of departure
for which I had not prepared. Now"

That's all.
Winston

[Ken e Bujold]

final proof edit now reads
the cold stone steps of a harbor
sinking into the fog
of a depature I hadn't prepared for.

[W. Barrett Munn]

I have a strong bias against prepositional endings.
"the cold stone steps of a harbor
sinking into the fog
of a departure for which I hadn't prepared.
still reads better to me.

But it is your baby.

Winston

[JD Major]

An unexpected treat, Ken!
I love Noir. Double Indemnity is one of my all time favourites.
And an unexpected coincidence, you having mentioned your mother earlier. My mother, in her younger years, was a dead-ringer for Barbara Stanwyck.
(The Long Goodbye, also a favourite)

[Ken e Bujold]

and another coincidence: if i could go back in time, Ms Stanwyck is the one I'd go back for. The woman was sexy as hell

[JD Major]

How dare you speak of my Mother that way!!! haha :)

[Scott Kris]

I’ll wade through the cement I think.
A fine pour I think.
I’ll read the second and third and comment as I am able.
After all, hello was the how we got to goodby.

Reading more. Ha.

[Coyote Poetry]

Me too Ken.
"Now
how I collect the random minutia
of all those places, scenes
seared into memory, seems like
the last futile act of the hapless
pigeon, feet settling
into the waiting cement of the long goodbye."
The above lines. I know today. Sometime I forgot who I was. This is poetry my friend. You bleed to paper and you made the reader bleed too. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote