The Slow Circling Groove

significant rewrite of Landscape of Three Small Words. New title, and final positioning

There was never any intention to stay: 

commitment being a masturbatory obligation 

I’d absolved myself of -- after forty 

the myocardial infarction of feeling 

anything for anyone had become so deeply rooted 

I barely registered an ache.

The black bileful streets 

emptying out into the dark harbor 

waters, rife with insinuation, the indeterminate 

design of a congenital defect -- too much 

to contemplate -- bristling the bilabial fricatives 

of my indigent shepherd’s palate 

with a complexity I’d never cared to sail from.

I’d cordoned off the world; self-

contained, I had no space for luggage --

preferring to eat standing up, 

content with the crumbs Marquez had left, 

Malcolm’s sloe Quauhnahuac eruption, 

the thought of sharing never crossed my thoughts.

But then, 

when this little hummingbird 

perched on the windowsill, 

seemingly unperturbed by the stems of all the dead 

roses I’d let wither there --

the idea of making a nest from all my difficult 

bits, the moody contentions of a solitude,

became a peculiar obsession, almost 

an imperative to step outside 

the silence of myself.

The impossibility of being with-

out, suddenly unbearable --

the new catechism of a lotus, 

logic of a life worth singing for --

it’s melody so sweet, sweeter, 

nearer to the heavenly chords, 

like tumbling cylinders being picked --

the slow circling groove of 

Charlies improvising.

Ken e Bujold

Author's Note

as I wrestle various pieces into final form for intended upcoming collection I will post what could be final versions, in hope of all your keen eyes finding any glaring errors of spelling etc. also if any metaphors or lines seem to clang your senses please feel free to let me know. A poet tends to blind themselves their children unruliness.

have left the original Landscape of Three Small Words on site, if any wish to compare the changes, follow along the byways of my process.
thanks as always for the creative thoughts and sharing
Ken

Reviews

[Dave Brown]

Unfortunately your writing is above my limited ceiling of understandability but I did latch on to a leaf tip of your hummingbird reference, which doesn't relate to your poem but it does remind me of the solitary little flyer we have had hanging on through all our rotten weather.
Tiny but tough
Take care

[Ken e Bujold]

back into the vaults I see. This one has undergone substantial revisions for the upcoming volume...which now has me fretting how cloudy it might be...ah well we'll see soon enough (late Aoril launch...so stayed tuned my friend)

winter here has been bearable...if just.

[willweb]

For me this piece of writing is spot on but...I am just a hack poet who finds and reads what he likes and what feels good to him. I do appreciate talent and when I find it I like to latch onto it in hopes of learning a thing or two. Not sure if I do but I can pick up a word here and there I have never seen nor read before. If this was published as is in a collection and I read it, I would dogear the page so I could easily return if I chose to.

[Ken e Bujold]

thanks will. the kind word really resonate. this baby has gone so many rewrites now, i can revise without paper, as it is seared in my head, line for aching line

[W. Barrett Munn]

Really showing your stuff here, Ken. I only one rather insignificant quibble: This:
"...bristling the bilabial fricatives
of my indigent shepherd’s palate
with a complexity I’d never cared to sail from."

The start and the end of the last line are sacrificed to the weakness of prepositions. Mightn't it be better as: "with complexity from which I'd never cared to sail"?

Other than that, spot on.

Winston

[Ken e Bujold]

yep, and already been modified in final proof for collection. keen eye my friend

[Coyote Poetry]

Hello Ken. I am enjoying your amazing work tonight. I watched the grandchildren for six days. They wore me out. My favorite part of the bird was the hummingbird. This is the kind of poetry. You must read a few times. Maybe all of us are seeking something. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote