Cipher

Walking lifeless through days

is now a habit--

the all-consuming daze

of being inside the outside

creep of having to explain

myself, what it means

to be a keeper of secrets:

the reaper of dark intended

shifts of certainty;

we are all condemned

to nothing in the end

but being worms.

Ken e Bujold

© 2022

Author's Note

dark gray miserable day outside has me brooding about the nature of brooding

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

The weather certainly seems to influence your mood Ken. This poem speaks to me of someone who has lost their zest for living. Your final three lines confirm that. Not a spark of bright here. You need a good dose of sunshine. Love that word brooding by the way. So atmospheric. All good wishes.

Chris

[Ken e Bujold]

thanks Chris. I am fine by the way. Just hate the first few days of autumn chilling, makes me brood. all the extra layers of clothing required make me sweat and the wind irritates my ears, since i refuse to wear a hat :) eventually I just get on with it, life is life and a man's got to do what he has to, which is write brooding poem to usher in the gripes of a winter dawning

[Chris Shaw]

You know, I don't like the change to autumn either. I suffer from this seasonal change too. I do wear hats though, which help :)

[softlyfall]

The line breaks you use creates wonderful phrases. I particularly loved
reaper of the dark intended
It has almost vampiric undertones.
A bit of synchronicity- just before I logged on to read some poetry a few moments ago, I was rapt with the memory of the day I realized i would die. I think i was about 9 when it hit me, the inevitability of death. Suddenly infinity and eternity overwhelmed me, then, and even now from time to time.
The first line is, I hope, existentialist rather than nihilistic.
Change is as inevitable as death so hope cannot be lost.

[Ken e Bujold]

glad you enjoyed the poem Soft. The line breaks are 2nd nature to me now, a lifetime of honing my ear to the eye's foot path. Synchronicity is one of my fav words, and joys of life. So I find nothing odd in your recounting of what you say of your memory of 1st realization of mortality.
as for the last question: am I am not particularly prone or fond of either of the ists. There is a third possibility, which perhaps you are too young yet (fortunately) to suffer from: a weariness. Not boredom, and not exactly tiredness either. More a slowing down of life, an unwillingness or inability to rush head first into the rush of unconsidered passions and adventurism. It is the day to day existence of gray haired existence

if that helps
ken

[softlyfall]

I fear I am a fan of ALL the ists. I call myself a Pandeist because i cannot NOT believe in anything so I believe IN everything. Or at least the possibilities.
Every year of life increases our perspective until, the way i imagine it, in the last moments, we see it all.

[Ken e Bujold]

A grand philosophy, one I hope you hold on to for as long as you can. For me, I have reached an understanding that all will not be revealed, which is fine with me: that leaves me open and hungry for what I can know. In the end, I believe we are atoms to atoms, a fresh beginning, but not of the same making, therefore not me again, but some new constellation in which i form a small part of the new big bang

[Fabian G. Franklin]

"I love the rain, it's so nice and gloomy." Wednesday Addams

I have to confess that I sort of like the rain myself because people seldom come calling in it and if it thunders and lightnings, all the better. Ah, so what if we all end up as worm food? Worms have to eat too. I'm not going to offer them myself with service and a smile just yet though. Not while I have books to read, things to learn and love to give. I haven't any patience though. I ran out of that some time back. I feel like Eliot at times, "I have measured out my life in coffee spoons." Speaking of which, I think it's time for another cup of green tea. I enjoyed the read.

[Ken e Bujold]

thanks for stopping by Fabian, glad you enjoyed and have a cup for me

[John the Baptist]

Probably not to be recommended if you have firearms in the house, this one. The author's note mentions the gloomy weather, which tends one to be inclined toward brooding. The speaker here is brooding on dark things, especially those "dark intended shifts of certainty." It is true all biographies end the same way, but that's no reason to dwell on it. Relax, have a drink. On second thought, maybe that's not good advice, either.

[Ken e Bujold]

was a bit early in the morning to start drinking when I penned this one John. but day got better so we all good