Akimbo

     I am winging to you
through space perhaps too small
to hold the bull rush
of my mercurial moods:

    Time is akimbo
heat bent through
the prism of need,
the beast too long unfed.

     I become forgetful

fixed in mind
on the transgressions
sang off key last time.

Ken e Bujold

©2022

Author's Note

While reading Carl Sandburg's opening line of "The Killers" the opening line for this popped into my mind.

Reviews

[Red Brick Keshner]

Sandburg does have that effect. I remember in the early days of writing to have 'Chicago' be a launching pad for some poem that has since been lost to time. I am glad that your poem has made it here, and its powerful second stanza is popping akimbo in my head. Thanks for sharing Ken. /Freds.

[Ken e Bujold]

thanks for the great review Fred
Ken e

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am forgetting too much too often these days.
This second stanza is to die for, Ken.
I want to put it in a time capsule and save it.
j.

[Ken e Bujold]

thank you ever so much for the fantastic comment Jacob. Glad you enjoyed the stanza so much. Seems to have affected a lot of people, in ways I hadn't quite thought of on creation.
Ken E

[John]

I am reminded of William Carlos Willliams' This Is Just To Say, which is an apology and a love poem on the subject of stolen fruit. It's not clear here what the regret is, but it is something to do with a 'transgression' or 'a transgression sung off key', which may not be quite the same thing. A poem has to strike a pose. The title Akimbo, however, is an ironic nod to what I think is the heart of the matter: indeterminacy. Time changes minds, motives become unclear, mood is unstable, and a man looks back and can hardly recognise the 'beast'. Ultimately responsibility is taken with the very first word of the poem, but a complex understanding of the situation is described and should be acknowledged if the speaker is to be understood.

[Ken e Bujold]

John thank you for the kind comparison to WCW, I am humbled beyond belief. Your review is unquestionably the most thought well reasoned I have received to date at Writerscafe. Indeed you almost have me wondering if I understand my own poem :) In all seriousness, you have touched on the themes I felt I was speaking to at the moment of writing. Only bit I might add to your review is that readers should pay attention to the slight nuances in time, each verse is ever so slightly off-kilter from the others, it is intentional
Thank you again
Ken e

[John]

Thank Ken. Glad to give my two pennies worth and hear back that you found it useful.

[Neville]

this is quite simply brill & I aint talkin fish mate .. bravo :)

[Ken e Bujold]

thanks for the kind words Nev

[Neville]

a real pleasure Ken and all mine sir :)

[W. Barrett Munn]

I heard an interesting saying once: two halves must join to make a whole; but when two holes join, that is beauty , that is love.

The second stanza reminded me of that kind of neediness.
Another well done tip of the hat.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Do you ever wander who Sandburg was reading when his opening line popped into his head?

[Ken e Bujold]

a philosophical question if there ever was one. With what I remember of Sandburg, which I admit is a bit misty these days, I would hazard a guess it was likely Whitman and some combination of Pound, Elliott, and perhaps EA Robinson, for the poem Killers. Though he was also influenced early by Cummings. The Killers is mid period Carl

[Ken e Bujold]

he is a rather under-read American icon these days. Serious poets, of a particular type of fashioned lyric. Like much, too much of the world these days, if you're not new your not hot, your not read.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was an enjoyable read. I love that word, "Akimbo". It sounds Creole bringing up visions of Marie Laveau and voodoo. The fact it is applied to time makes me think of Salvador Dali and all his melting clocks. Hmm, sins sang off key? Aren't they all? Great stuff.

[Ken e Bujold]

it's root are actually old to middle english or possibly norse. strictly speaking its when you stand with your knees bent out at their unnatural angle

[Einstein Noodle]

such a lot in this sir! read it several times ... really like your use of the language .. "time is akimbo...heat bent.." ... makes me think ... we do become fixed in mind and we forget more and more easily .. i especially like the circle in the closing .. so many re-plays going on in me noodle .. one should get pretty sick of the same ol' song .. always it is off key .. i suppose if we got it right just once .. we could move on eh!? ;) nice write .. thought provoking ... great word smithing says i!
E.

[Ken e Bujold]

thanks for the kind review E, glad you found some small sense of a little bit of salve for the noggin

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ......................

[Stuart Munro]

Hi Ken , you write complex poetry , well it is too me , being a minimalist lol
I like , sang off key last time
The prism of need , to hold the Bullrush of mercurial moods
Great word skills

[Ken e Bujold]

thanks for the kind words Stuart. And I admire, even in a review you maintain your minimalist views, condensing 12 lines to the necessary few of 3
ken e

[Stuart Munro]

Ken , They’re were my favourite lines of your poem
Your poems are very good , but I’m a line liker
More than saying what I feel the poem is about sometimes

[Ken e Bujold]

I know exactly how you feel Stuart. I love poetry, the sentiments and thoughts inside myself it reveals, but I am also as you so nicely put it "a line liker".

[Richard Knox]

This is very intriguing. It says much in a short poem of succinct lines. I haven’t read Sandburg’s “The Killers.” As poetry sometimes does, this took my thoughts in a direction that may be nowhere near what you had in mind: I hear a man who is so overcome with desire that he again selfishly and uncontrollably takes his own pleasure without regard for his lover’s needs, despite his best intentions. I’m curious to know if I am totally off-base.

[Ken e Bujold]

your instincts are not far off Richard. This poem is nothing at all like Sandburg's. The note is just an observation of how the entry to a poem can be found at the most unusual of times and places, reading another poet, a poem I've read literally hundreds of times, and a spark jumped the line

[Richard Knox]

Its interesting what sparks an idea for a poem. Or how those poems develop into something unexpected at times.