I Fear Permanence- Isabella Morado

“I fear permanence” - Isabella Morado 

I trace a shaking nger over the shower glass 

nervous, ever so nervous 

I, too, am made of turbulence 

understander of self-inicted horrors: 

the fear of permanence 

the harm I draw 

the water will wa 

sh 

away 

a tingle, of esh, of scalp 

a y huddles among the brown umbrella of my hair 

he cries a prayer of shuing legs against the watery onslaught of dreary, dr 

ipp 

ing 

despair. 

I'm so sorry for my species’ treachery, I tell him… 

for the unexpected water 

falls… 

I draw shimmering green wings, tainted with the sweat of fear, the hunt (I should’ve looked closer at insect wings before) 

my guilt seeping out, putting up a front; 

the shower glass nothing but a hologram to him 

I draw trees, wildowers�"where is his home? 

will he ever understand how I rush to draw 

uickly-uickly, before the patterns distort in evaporation? zzle out in dr 

ipp 

ing droplets of desperate transmission? 

I wish I could taste the color of his thoughts… 

I feel as little at home here as you, little y 

beyond the window, faint silhouettes of a life 

far beyond what I could reach

light blue sky and greenery, bleached 

all faded, and wa 

shed away 

another world, 

so distant �"--- to today 

“you belong there,” I nally say 

(but oh! how I wish he would stay) 

is there some place beyond my own head where I can belong, too? 

he uses my head as protection against 

what our lthy, unshowered hands have created vermeil “silver” chute of (un?)ltered, ¢0.375 water 

it’s funny, my head a safe haven for a y, 

for how I have longed for a haven far far away from it oh, how my head denies my cries 

for refuge 

I think the y deserves freedom on wings, too 

so I open the window 

the y, startled, 

leaps oh so courageously 

not into the now-bright blue sky 

but into the raging tor 

re 

nt 

couldn’t even�" 

catch a glimpse of his�" 

shimmering green wings 

did I predict their future, drawing them with water? 

I couldn’t bear to watch 

his limp body 

-ow 

d-ow-n 

his dark body blending into the dark drain 

the wing’s drawn outline 

reveals its impermanence in graying water lines I watch as my face blends into the drawing

two in one, simple lines and forms 

shaping my life 

I feel the urge 

the powerful 

beautiful 

all-consuming desire 

to capture such a double-outline 

translucent broken love in a self-inicted form the tilt of my nose 

the opposing tilt of my eyelashes 

the lines of water sinking through my skin over and over 

bleeding navy into white 

wet to dry to saturated 

tears to indierence to impassioned tempest 

fear keeps us in places where 

wings are permanently impermanent that must be why I’m still in the shower ¢0.375 cents later