An Unbearable Beauty

An Unbearable Beauty.

 

 

Come here and listen

watch the light playing

a cloud into the distance

a wonder in saying

 

This place, this whole, this beauty controlled

remember this cry, that loss so denied

was what we wanted fulfilled

 

Stay here in this keeping

breathe this star into night

singing the day before sleeping

allow this simple delight

 

A form, a ghost, a time so, 'beloved'

feel this thought right, a mind so involved

a cannot do now but weeping.

 

Leave these who thinking

contain what they hear

let your thought do the seeking

allow no time for fear

 

A world away from aching, deceitful complaining

a landscape of light and saying

feel what was then right

Reviews

[Ladysue]

A beautifully bittersweet piece....nostalgia; a desire to make what was then right, often creates a picture edited with new light and then it sure can bring about a redirection. In other words as one reviewer stated...leave the sadness and see the beauty. A very thoughtful piece that was expressed with a tremendous amount of insight. Wonderful!!!

[Gandré]

I liked this one very much, I thought, this is truly wonderful poem to make the reader aware.
Awareness is what is missing, so often.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

A lovely ode with a bit of a melancholic tone that touches the soul. Truly a delight to read this morning. Glad to see you up and running again.
Light,
Siddartha

[emmajoy]

I interpret this as being told/advised to leave the shadows of sadness and enter the light, see the beauty.

' Stay here in this keeping / breathe this star into night / singing the day before sleeping / allow this simple delight ' - those lines are beautiful both in concept and construction..

The words, the phrases, the stanzas are as perfect as always.

[W.k.kortas]

It is, as a prior review noted, "dreamy", but that belies the palpable sense of loss Donald so rightly notes here, the desire to return to "what was then right", to try to frame, or perhaps fasten to the corkboard like a butterfly for display, those moments of utter joy and clarity--which, if we try to make them permanent, bear no more resemblance to the actual moment than the living butterfly to the one secured to the display with the push-pin. While this may bear a deeper (and more painful) meaning to those who have reached a certain point in life, the emotions are universal-- and they are expressed with unusual perceptiveness and skill in this piece.

[Donald Meikle]

Tears me up lar. Pessimistically hopeless and lost as I am. I can see the hope fading and dissipating in the sunset of your life. Whoops a daisy, there's another cloud.

[Cheryl J. Turner]

What a dreamy piece, it feels like a piece written to meditate to. I enjoyed it very much.

[Emily B]

Personally, I think I would trip over any more punctuation. There is a lightness to the words that should not be anchored to the page. Some ethereal quality that pulls a mind far away from electronic images to blue skies and a cloud and then beyond.

[Matthew V. H.]

It was good, but i think you need to add a bit more punctuation.

I really liked the flow of this and the Rhyme scheme was nice too. You did really well with this.