Changed

For my dad when the times were hard but you got through them.

Nothing seems to flow

for the path he choses does anything but slow

the clear straight liquid seeping down

poisoning his intricate mind without a sound

to just drop down dead

and surrender your mental head

how do we know if his soul is not broken

for the bottle seems to be his only token

to never return? where is he hiding?

is it fate really just deciding

What is real and what is lies

to me it's just the bottle in disquise

to invision hope for a brighter day

while keeping those demons at bay 

 

 

 

The night is young

the future waits

but how much time before it quakes

it's testing fates and doubting sights

do I believe he will make it through this fight

Author's Note

What are your thoughts?

Reviews

[TTBoy28]

Keleki - I don't think you need the last stanza at all. The poem is strong enough without it. But, please adjust/correct the last line in the first stanza. I like where you've gone with this!

[Kandy]

I love it. The last part especially. I feel that what you say is very true. Although, the first part was a bit confusing. I think you can clear that up. You've got great rhyming skills. Once again, I love it.