The more I care, the more you don't

You can ignore this. I just wanted to write in a journal to let things out

When it comes on life, friendships, and relations in general, I am confused. Scared. Unexperienced. I don't know what to think, what to do, why others think and act they way that they do. I try so hard to make connections with people, only to be shot down. What am I doing wrong? I sit here, seeing you talk and laugh with the "popular" students, but may I ask why? I hear them talk bad about you when you aren't around. Is there something you see in them that draws you closer? I put in time, listening to you and your problems when you need to talk and laughing at your jokes and I start to think that there might be that friendship bond. That is until I receive the cold shoulder once again. So please, tell me. What can I do? I would help you in any way I can, so why don't you just talk and laugh with me the way you do with everyone else? Can't you see that I just want a friendship? I wish, desperately, for a bond that is unbreakable. I want a bond that is strong and unique. You have no problem building one with people that couldn't care less about your well being, so why do you refuse to spend time with someone who actually cares? I know that life and all of the things within aren't going to be easy. I only wish they weren't as difficult to understand so I can figure out what I am doing wrong, what I need to change.