Billy Bob

Billy bob is a silly redneck

BILLY BOB

BY

KELLY NORTHUP

 

            This is a story about Billy Bob.  Billy Bob is short and fat.  He is very stubby and he is quite bucktoothed.  He has a brother named Larry who looks a whole lot like him.  Billy Bob normally wears jeans, boots, t-shirts, and cameo hats with a fishing hook on the side.  He has a brown buzz cut with a goatee and sideburns.  He is not pale but he is not orange, he is just about tan.  He is very hairy and is not very attractive…at all.

Billy Bob loves to laze around and do nothing but watch TV and fish all day.  He eats all the time and passes gas after every bite.  He walks kind of funny because all his pants are too tight for him.  When he has to answer the door he just yells “IT’S OPEN!”  He doesn’t like to move a lot unless it’s the pizza guy or the dude who comes to your door with 1,000,000,000,000 dollars. Or if he’s just going fishing then he’ll move but he normally waits about 30 minutes before he leaves just to see if the pizza guy accidentally comes to his house by mistake.

He is very friendly but nobody seems to like him, except the pizza place, they love him because he comes their all the time and always leaves a penny tip.  Mostly everybody thinks he’s annoying.  He calls everybody Larry because he thinks that everybody in the world looks like someone that would be named Larry.  Like his pet rat Larry, his pet fish Larry, his pet bulldog Larry, and his pet shoe Larry.  Every time someone tells him something he says “Git-r-done.”  For instance Sam, the pizza guy delivered a pizza to his house last week. Sam said “Ok you owe me eight dollars and ninety nine cents.” Here’s what Billy Bob said, “Git-r-done!” Then he slammed the door in his face while eating a piece of pizza, “Bye Sammy boy!” said Billy Bob.  Well that’s Billy Bob for ya.