Paths

Have you ever been lost?

Paths

 

You’re tired, I know. Tired and so sick of all the mistakes. It seems at every twist and turn of your life, you’ve taken the wrong path. You’re not alone, there are many people wandering blindly along this warped maze. Everyone has taken a wrong turn and some, like you, have taken many. You’re not alone, it only feels that way.

In the dark, it all looks the same. Skeletal trees wave over your head, barely illuminated by a weak moon. Before you, all the roads you could take snake through the underbrush and into the night. It’s a desolate landscape and it never changes. You’ve always lived this nightmare.

Somewhere in the distance, you can see that great, shining light. It makes the night all the darker, casting shadows over the weaving lanes. Which path will take you there? You wonder if any of them will. They’re spread out in front of you, sprawling into the night.

The light beckons. For the first time in your life, you know what you want. Exactly what you want. But you don’t know how to get it, how to get there.

Frustration bites into you. All the days you’ve spent, all the broken dreams you’ve chased, you’ve been wasting your time. They were only echoes of your one, true desire. This is what you should have sought all along. This is what you were meant for.

You start forward and stop. The first path seems unlikely, it heads off in the opposite direction. The second path appears to be the smoothest, but you’ve been fooled by easy roads before. You can’t afford another wrong turn leading to another dead end. There are no signs to point you in the right direction.

The third path is the scariest. You can see feral eyes reflected at you down this one. The path itself weaves through a thick copse of dead trees. The tall corpses sway in a breeze you cannot feel, and you can imagine the teeth that go along with those eyes. . .

Nothing worth having is easy, you know that. But does that mean this is the right way? Will it take you to the light? You can’t pick another wrong turn. All your mistakes are accumulating.

You can feel your life slipping by, burning away to ash as you consider your options. It’s all passing you by as you stand at the crossroads. You have to make a choice soon, or it will be too late. Your heart thuds and your breath quickens. You close your eyes and take a step, then another. When you take a look, you see what you expected. The third path. The hardest road and the most frightening. This has to be it, you think. It has to be difficult for the light to be worth it.

You don’t look behind you. It would be useless, anyway. You’ve made your choice and there’s no turning back. Praying it’s right, you square your shoulders and go on. The eyes are watching you now, as though you’re the only living creature in the world to them. Maybe you are.

You’re afraid, but you don’t show it. You’re stronger than that. Weakness doesn’t enter into the equation for you. It’s all about the goal, the light shining in the dark. You can weather anything, so long as you reach it in the end. But you can’t help the doubts that spin in your head. Questions without answers taunt you from the corners of your mind. All those wrong turns, all your sins threatening to eat you alive. You take a breath and go on.

The trees look even lonelier up close. Their dry, silvered branches reach up and out like claws, scratching at an unforgiving sky. The desolation on this trail grinds at your soul, seeping into your pores. The light disappears, swallowed by shadow, as you make your way deeper into the this dead forest. You try to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach, the one that says you’ll never make it out alive.

Something close to you howls, and the fine hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. The anger and fear in that howl is matched only by your own. You don’t know what it is, but you know it’s coming closer. You don’t dare look behind you. There are some things you’re better off not knowing. Some things no one needs to know.

You walk faster down the narrow, gloomy way, fighting the urge to run. Your hair is damp with sweat, but your body is covered in goose bumps from an unnatural chill. If you give in to this need, you know you’ll veer off the trail and lose your way. If you step off the path, you’ll never find it again. You’ll be just another lost soul, floating in the dark and whispering on the wind.

You can still hear the thing behind you. It’s close. You can almost feel its breath on the back of your neck. You don’t want to look back, you don’t want to see it. If you see it, that will make it real. You don’t want to know, do you? You don’t want to see the monster under the bed, the thing in the closet. But you can’t resist. You turn, still walking, craning your neck for a glimpse.

There’s a sharp pain on your cheek and you stumble. Whirling back around, you see your assailant. A bony branch sticking out grazed your face, drawing a thin line of crimson. Your heart tumbles over in relief, and you laugh, a high-pitched sound that breaks the silence like a gunshot. For a minute there, you thought it got you. But the monster under the bed isn’t real, after all. Right? It can’t really get you. It can’t drag you under with the dust bunnies and cobwebs. It can’t devour you in a bite like you always feared in your nightmares. Right?

You dust yourself off and see a flash of yellow eyes. The laugh cuts off abruptly. You’ve paused too long, lingered where you shouldn’t have. Now you’ve seen it, in all its naked truth. You see what it is and know what it wants. Your breath freezes and your heart stands still. For a moment, you think you’re dead. Dead and consigned to a hell of your own making. Then you’re running, trying to unsee the terrible thing behind you. What imagination can fathom a creature so awful, you cannot understand. All you know is it’s there, stalking you. Chasing you .

The path splits ahead. You see it just in time. Now there’s no time to consider. You can continue either way, down a darker and more frightening road. They both look the same from here. Or, you can turn and confront the thing behind you. Wrestling with the fear gnawing at your gut, your mind is racing. You try to think. Which way? Is the light even there anymore? You try to remember the last time you saw it, but can’t. The thing behind you almost has you. All your mistakes have accumulated. What do you do? Where do you go?

Is the light worth what you’re paying for it? You don’t have to turn to know the thing is reaching out with its gnarled claws for your embrace. You don’t have to look to know the paths before you are full of danger and hopelessness. With a sick feeling, you reach the crossroads, another in a long line of choices you’ve made along the way. You’ve been on this journey forever, it never ends, never gets smoother.

You stop and turn. You face this thing you’ve created. All your mistakes and sins accumulated to devour you. The path wasn’t right and it wasn’t wrong. You know that now. They were all the same, and this thing has always been behind you. But you can’t run forever and it won’t stop until you do.

The thing reaching for you, this ugly, twisted version of yourself is the only way to the light. You will beat it or it will beat you. There’s only one way to find out. You turn and open your arms. Your revulsion melts away and your face lights up with warmth.

You smile. It doesn’t matter. It never did. The world’s going to end when you die, anyway.

The End

Reviews

[Todd Rose]

What an amazing piece of work. You have a gift for story telling, that is for sure. This piece almost reads like a guided meditation, which deepens the effect of the story for me. I love the way you described the forest, the panic and fear. However, I almost felt like the very last sentence really wasn't needed. I personally feel that story could end right after "It never did" which, for me, would have a bit of resonance to it. But that is just a small thing. Great work!

[Creepy Swine Guy]

The prose are strong, very strong. They were so strong that I began to become impatient to reach the bones of the story. But reaching the climax of the story, I see that this has a "Tell-Tale Heart" feel to it.

[JRB]

Very nicely done, I felt your thoughts of confusion lost in hope and your expectations venting foreword. The mood ride was enjoyable.
Jan/Uisiom