Teenagers: Nocturnal Rule-Followers

A Satire

The clock strikes midnight and, like a fairytale princess, I disobey my parents. The closed door proves dragon-like, locking me in and guarding my path to escape. This barricade keeps me captive in my perfect room. Impregnable, I open it easily and fall gracefully, sticking the landing clumsily on the rug. Strapping my night-vision goggles on, I sneak down the hall, furtive and impassive. I stop for a moment to catch my breath from the excitement of the night. I gaze down the stairs at the precipitous journey that lies before me. I switch my goggles to laser-detector and sure enough, waiting, deprived of victims, are a plethora of red security lasers. Making sure silence stirs from my parents’ room, I begin to sing, mellifluously incongruous. I roll-tuck down the stairs, adroit in my attempt to avoid the lasers. The house, portentous it seems, allows me to wander freely in silence. I remove my goggles and drop them to the floor, making sure to leave no evidence of my ever being out of bed.

            These floors prove fastidious, as they let me slide by without a notification to my parents above. Knowing this is not the time for midnight snacking, I go ahead and make myself a full entrée, reminding myself to leave a mess, in case someone wishes to clean up after me. Feeling satisfied at succeeding in my job as a teenager, I continue my mission. I glance around the house, and follow my incessant plan to freedom. As I begin to skip, gleeful and gay, something is out to cease my adventuring for tonight: a suspicious cat, lying innocently across my soon-to-be trodden path. Dramatic situations cause for dramatic actions, and I pull out my bazooka that I so conveniently remembered to bring. The cat must have noticed that she is no match for my power and slumbers out of my way, giving me free access to my destination.

            Finally, I make it to my goal of this entire rebellious, casual night: the door. Feeling rather penitent, I carry on confidently. The door cracks, indelible in the stillness of the night, but I sneeze loudly, covering the noise. Smiling at my ingeniousness, I slip out the door, yawning and dreaming of my bed left so long ago.

            The world is my own: fresh, crisp, and prosaic. I indulge in the moment of serenity as the sounds of honking horns, a married couple fighting loudly, and the broadcasts of the overtime football game down the block surrounds me. This night exemplifies a night for breathing. I inhale once, twice, thrice and then glance around suspiciously, heart racing, before sneaking back in through the door.

            Once inside, my heart slows back down and I wipe the sweat off my brow, congratulating myself on my expert sneaking out skills. Now the only obstacle impending is the pilgrimage back to my faraway bed. I take a moment to figure out an impeccable plan filled with plenty of chimerical theories. I decide that I should really take plenty of time to figure out my next move, so I sit in the middle of the floor and wait a few hours before acting.

            After having meditated to get a more clear perspective on the situation, I open my eyes to the difficulty before me. I stand, give a good stretch, and walk up the stairs, down the hall and into my room. With care, I slam my door abruptly and jump up and down on my bed, exhausted. At last, my excursion has come to an end. It was a night full of brazen dare that has created a novel experience for me to remember for the rest of my life. My thoughts spur around the amazement of not getting caught and, before I slip into slumber, I check my clock: 12:10. 

Author's Note

Satire written for English class last year. The category says for everyone, but you have to understand the forms of satire to truly appreciate this piece.

Reviews

[M.E.Lyle]

It's funny when I was reading this I thought it sounded a lot like an assignment in which the teacher assigned at least 200 words using specific words like, mellifluously, incongruous, portentious, etc. And so, the world outside seemed more invasive, less secure, and less serene than the world of being locked safely in your bedroom. The fresh night exemplified a night for breathing. You took not one, but three deep breaths, looked around and said, to heck with this, I'm going back to my room where I can get some real peace and quiet. It wasn't the adventure of being out that was so exciting, it was the long journey getting there that made the adrenaline rush.
Have a great day.

[Wolfwind]

Lol! That was awesome! A teenagers night, with a james bond twist! I loved the visual description, it really held me intense into the tale. I could almost hear the theme music in the background as the escapades kept on coming.

Wonderful read!
Aaron