Burnt Pages of My Memories

I watch the colors flash on the walls:

Blue. Black. Bright.

And I begin to think about my depression.

 

My throat feels tight almost all the time nowadays

Like I may start crying at any moment, 

For no reason at all.

 

And the images beneath the surface

Haunt me like dirty handprints

On the walls of my mind.

 

I can’t scrub them off,

Because they are engraved,

Like cracks in a sidewalk,

Brimming with slivers of my past.

 

As hard as a try to stop them,

Once I begin to think,

The memories flood my mind.

And the scabs break.

And the blood pours.

I drown in my own sick imagination.

 

I can’t swallow, because

My throat is clogged with tears.

But then the flicker of the candle flame or the

Dancing, taunting shadows on the wall

Make it hard for me to tear my eyes away. 

 

And for a minute or two,

As my mind slumbers into peace,

My thoughts don’t hurt as much.

And the tears don’t sting as badly as they

Run down my face

And drench my collar.

 

But the shadows have dimmed to

Slight wisps reflecting the dying

Flame of the candle.

 

And as my throat sews itself together,

A fresh coat of handprints,

Blackened and bedraggled,

Filled with twisted thoughts and images,

Have been painted on the walls inside my head.

 

Despite the encouragement from
Myself and others,

My mind will never be completely clean again. 

Reviews

[StoryTailor]

Ah, images float about in my mind. Something that I think I'm going to get used to, because it happens so often whenever I read your work. Emotion is seething off the page, and it desperately tries to pull me in. It took all of my energy and then some to pull away!

And the fact that the emotion you are describing is no stranger to me, probably helped it along as well. Congrats on a really good piece, dear friend...

[Daydreamer54]

Vivid imagery and great use of similies. i really like this. it has such emotion of pain and depression. I'm wishing that thinks will get better for you and i know they will. :)

[The Wave]

"And the images beneath the surface Haunt me like Dirty handprints On the walls of my mind..."
this line stood out the most for me...

overall, this is a good write, loved the details... my only complaint is everything is small print and clumped together.. maybe some separation with stanzas?? great emotions nevertheless...
good job

[Lola Nation]

tell them to turn off the damn t.v. and pay attention to you. :)

[Amanda]

amazing, the flow is perfect and you described depression exactly. well done

[ebur™]

such great use of words and the flow is great. it certainly describes depression well and it is expressed well to, so well done! :)

[Charles]

Certainly paints the picture of depression and maybe partial recovery from some physical event. There are some good phrases here (like dirty handprints on the walls of my mind). Such talent needs to be nurtured. Keep writing, you'll find it therapeutic.

[deeps]

Such a brutal emotion that outpours from this.
Well expressed and such a hurtful write.
Well that is what came across to me.