If You Give A Moose A Muffin ...

Working Title

When you see the woman your ex f**k buddy loves in Kroger,

your initial thought is

This b***h

When you see this woman your ex f**k buddy loves,

you’re angry and you’re bitter,

and though you’re the one

who cut it off, you’re jealous.

When you see this woman in Kroger,

you watch as she reaches for a stock of kale

and you roll your eyes, mutter,

of course she eats kale.

She carefully places the leaves in

a bag and lays it in her cart.

You notice her hands.

They have ornamental rings with

jade jewels and earthy stones

and one in particular is really cool.

You catch yourself wondering

where she bought it.

You quickly scratch the thought and

scoff it’s probably not even

real silver as you thumb

over your own sterling rings.

When you see this woman in Kroger,

you ignore her and grab two bell peppers and

watch as she pulls out a paper

grocery list and then a pencil

from behind her ear, marking

off items like some 1950s housewife.

You smirk because your grocery list

is memorized.

Then you remember her name

he had mentioned, just in passing.

Was he f*****g her at the same time?

You begin panicking that you

were a rebound, since you know

he’s loved her for years, even

when he was with you.

You look over at her in her grey-blue

sweater, black pants, brown boots.

She’s not looking at you so you turn

back to the peppers, trying to

distract yourself with green and red

vegetables.

A random memory comes back to

you: you’re in a bar late February

last year when things were crashing.

Your friend saw her and said,

“Oh look. The guy you’re f*****g,

that’s the girl he’s in love with.”

You saw her then, blonde curls,

laughing on a bar stool.

She was gorgeous.

Now here she is in the produce

section of Kroger at 10 pm on a

Sunday. You had hoped you

would be alone this late at night.

You shouldn’t have even noticed

her, thought about her, but

for a moment, you do.

You wonder about her body,

your friend had said she taught yoga

at the gym so, evidently in better shape than you.

She looked happy just picking out apples

and oranges. No one looks that

happy shopping for produce.

Was he f*****g her?

Your friend had told you she refused to

and maybe that’s why he loved her:

she was unattainable;

you were reachable.

Your anger dissolves into depression

as you imagine her smile a year ago

on a bar stool, how genuine and

easy, and how hard smiles were for you back

then.

No wonder he didn’t love you.

He never saw your teeth. He didn’t

even know you.

A man bumps into you,

asks if you’re okay.

You’ve been staring at the kiwis and

the mangoes for awhile now.

You nod, guilty at your thoughts,

and look up at her again,

she’s staring intently at the

mixed greens options.

She eats salads,

You think and then laugh, because

You’ve caught yourself judging again.

So do you, a*****e.

You smirk at your stupidity

and push your cart forward.

You need to get some mixed

greens too, now that you

remember.

You’re standing a foot away

from her and she’s your height.

You wonder if that has anything

to do with your connection.

She doesn’t even know who I am

you think, but it makes you nervous.

She picks her option and begins to

pull her cart away when she stops.

You pause, she can hear my thoughts

you panic.

But instead she comments

Cute boots!

You look up at her

and she smiles,

full of honesty and no knowledge

of who you are.

She pushes her cart towards

the next aisle, leaving

you standing there, a

word caught in your throat:

a salty jumble of thanks

and I’m sorry.