Sunday Morning Hypocrites

hazy and dazed from the night before,

i sit alone on my broken, beat-up porch.

staring and pondering, i hear church bells ring;

my gaze redirected to the ground below.

in their sunday best, dressed to the nines,

i see church people scurry about.

wearing fake plastic smiles and shoes of deceit,

they eagerly meet and greet.

quick to seat, in unison, bowing their heads,

they pray for absolution from a sin riddled week.

as their guru enters, without saying a word,

his flock rises, standing straight and tall.

parishioners  listen with intent, but wandering eyes wander;

looking and preying on next weeks feast.

stand, sit and pray, paying off their sins,

sighs of relief sound as collection baskets pass.

with deviant eyes and a phony smile, the guru stands,

arms raised high, he looks down upon his flock;

"let us go in peace!"

with shiny new slates the congregation leaves;

only to return after another sin riddled week.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I quit going to church 37 years ago. The church told me not to hang with non-believers. I learn like in your words. More sinners in the church. I like the wisdom and story in the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[kar]

thank you for your kind comments; they are truly appreciated.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. I will come back tonight and read more. I do my reading when the Grand-boys are sleeping.

[kar]

thank you so much!

[Zak Eltz]

I really like this. HIts on some personal notes for me.

I think some of your more powerful criticism: "shoes of deceit" "wandering eyes wander" "preying on next week's feast" and "paying off their sins" are overshadowed by some of the louder words/phrases like "guru" and "sin riddled week"

If you eliminate or change these more overt criticisms, your more potent, subtle, and pointed phrases will shine brighter and convey the same message with more nuance.

Thanks for sharing!

[kar]

thank you for reading and commenting, i do appreciate your words. i will look at this piece again, taking into consideration your comments. thank you again :)

[Zak Eltz]

Of course. Just my thoughts/personal taste - great work!

[kar]

you thoughts are appreciated. my goal is to become a stronger writer, any constructive criticism is helpful.

[Jay dee]

Very nice, your title gripped my attention and the poem did not let down

[kar]

i'm so thrilled you enjoyed this piece. thank you for reading and commenting; it is very much appreciated.