Trying To Understand

Trying to understand the paths that you chose.
I probably won't ever understand, the reasons only you know.
The pain that you've caused me has helped me to grow.
But the thoughts that plague my mind, on my face they surely show.
I guess I have my faults and I am to blame.
I never wanted you to go, our lives have changed, they'll never be the same.
Now the dilemma I face everyday, is should I let you go?
My head says yes because I'm a fool, but my heart continually screams NO!!
I know the life that you want, is not a life with me.
I only wish I knew how to make you happy, and that you wanted to be with me.
You have broken dreams, I guess that I do too.
I never thought our love would end, I wish there was something I could do.
I know that I'll miss you and you'll always be in my heart.
Oh God, how I wish our love was strong and that we didn't have to part.
My soul is sick, just like your mind.
I can no longer ignore this, or continually be blind.
I've forgiven a lot, I've been through much more.
I know it will break my heart once again, when you walk out that door.