Where Am I Supposed To Be?

We build walls to try to avoid feeling pain
I hold so much inside, it feels like I'm going insane
I cannot stop the way I feel, though Lord knows I have tried
The reality is I need to stay guarded, so my feelings I must try to hide
Shutting you out is impossible to do
Some days I wish I didn't love you
It would make your life easier, perhaps mine as well
But I feel I cannot give up, though we've both been through hell
I don't know where I am supposed to be anymore
Lord, help me, I just can't close this door
I can't live in the past, and the future I fear
But my life just isn't the same if you're not here
I've tried to accept things as they come
Life tends to leave me feeling cold and numb
Happiness is all I want for you
So be happy, my happiness comes from loving you