A Deadly Encounter

We have scary things in Australia!

There are so many deadly creatures

To which our land plays host.

Its seems that in Australia,

Is where you'll find the most.

You may venture into the outback,

But be careful if you dare.

There's a chance you'll meet a monster

That is guaranteed to scare.

 

It comes to life when the sun has set

The wildlife flee in fright.

We call it the Aussie Road Train

It's road kill a gruesome sight.

A nasty encounter of my own

The subject of this rhyme.

I will tell you how it happened,

Blow by blow and  in real time.

 

Around midnight out of the Alice,

With a long long way to go.

I am stuck  behind a road train

That seems a trifle slow.

It is going less than a hundred

But I have a burning  yen,

To make it to Darwin tomorrow

So I need to be doing a hundred and ten.

 

There's a flash of the right indicator!

The sign for "OK to go".

Gentlemen of the road with their own code

Shared only with those in the know.

High in his cab he sees far ahead

And told me it's OK to pass.

I slam it into four throttle to the floor

Gotta get this old  ute off its arse.

 

I steer across those double white lines

It's OK I'm  perfectly sure.

Coz everyone knows that Truckie Code

Stands way above the law.

Now I see the entire road train

With trailers one two three and four.

At least one more than I bargained for

I am in for a struggle for sure.

  

Out of the slipstream catching  the air

The going just got a bit hard.

The poor old ute is bravely fighting

For every hard earned yard.

This process is taking way too long,

I am feeling bit of a failure.

I haven't yet been able to pass

That number four road train trailer.

 

I am saying a prayer to  Brocky,

I know that’s really absurd.

But he'd understand the need for speed

And maybe put in a word.

If there are racing cars in heaven

He is bound to have some pull.

I would like it if my full throttle

Could be just a bit more  full.

 

Trailer three gives a lurch and a sway

So close to my passenger door.

With my wheels already on gravel

I can't move over any more.

I seem to be on a bend with no end

And I  cannot  see what lies ahead.

I can feel the anxiety building

So many questions race through my head.

 

At trailer two I am pondering

Was passing really essential?

I am wondering about this driver,

His integrity and driving credentials.

Was that blinker flash really for me?

The whole situation feels wrong.

Is there another explanation?

Did he bump the blinker  re-lighting his bong?

 

Passing  trailer one with the feeling

That I am in mortal danger?

Am  I in this pickle from putting trust,

In the hands of a faceless stranger?

Could this driver now be showing off

To his brand new lady spouse?

Probably a tattoed charmer,

Picked up at the last road house?

 

Did he give her a shake so she'll awake

Saying "Sit up don't miss this Yvonne

I arranged a special treat for you

I have set up another head on!"

My mind is creating scenarios,

Of only destruction and horror.

None of them include the slightest hint

Of any sort of tomorra!

 

I finally draw alongside the cab,

The  driver too high to see,

With red face horns and a pitchfork,

I imagine him to be.

There's a sign on the driver's door,

Does it really boast Road Toll?

It confirms this road train driver

Is a low life  sicko troll.

 

In a moment or so my fate I'll know

Will my ordeal finish?

He dips his lights I flick mine high

I feel my fear diminish.

There are red and white reflectors

As far as the eye can see,

Not a car or critter on the road

That’s a beautiful sight to me.

 

In the distance on the  horizon

They converge to a single dot.

This wonderful scene so brightly lit,

By my hundred megawatt spot.

Our road train drivers are the best

I’ll stand by my assertion.

Please ignore any hasty remarks

That may have cast dispersions.

 

The name on the door I thought I saw,

Well I might have made an error.

Probably just a dyslexic  thing

In a weak moment of terror.

That company name it is  "Toll Road"

They employ the very best.

Clean living gents atop of their game,

Who would clearly pass any test.

  

But now something's wrong with my old Ute

It is shaking off its tits,

I think it's about to fall apart

Into tiny little bits.

The reason is clearly apparent

When I take a look at the clock,

It’s doing a hundred and forty

And that is quite a shock.

 

That is significantly faster

Than I thought it could do,

So I am beginning to wonder, 

Did Brocky really come through?

I have now slowed the old ute  down

To a calmer hundred and ten.

But wait,  what the hec is going on?

Why are things still shaking then?

 

Oh crap its a case of the  jitters, 

Apparently its only me.

It seems that I need to  pull over,

And make a nice cuppa tea.

I pull up in the next truck stop

My heart still beating fast.

I get my billie from the back,

And wave as he rumbles past.

 

I sit and drink my cup of tea

My knees have nearly stopped shaking.

I am reflecting on my life

And this journey that  I'm taking.

Wise words from an elderly  bushman

Keep ringing in my ears.

A crusty old outback resident,

He’s been around for quite a few  years.

 

He insisted " Follow those road trains,

It is the only way to go.

Let them smack into the camels,

And the odd water buffalo.”.

I encounter another road train,

This time doing ninety nine,

“Passing lane 10 Kilometres”,

Says the dusty yellow sign.

 

So it seems that I can  pass safely ,

About six minutes ahead.

But I don't think I will bother,

Happy to follow instead.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Aussie Dictionary:-
=======================
The Alice = Alice Springs (town in the middle of Australia)
Darwin = Bloody hot! (town at the top of Australia)
Ute = Utility Vehicle
100k = 62 mph, 110k = 70mph ,140k = 87mph
Brocky (Peter Brock) Legendary Australian racing driver, tragically killed 2006.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Brock
Road kill = Cheap lunch
Billie = pot for boiling water (and cooking road kill)

Reviews

[Aethereal]

This is a fascinating story poem that gets its point across. I would have stuck more to meter if I had done it, but that's me. I'll give you my technical impression of the first 16 lines: I didn't want to do the whole poem lest I go mad. It's amazing that you did as well as you had being that this is such a long story poem.


In the first line: "The" should be "There"
In line seven: Perhaps the contraction "you'll" would sound better.
In line eight: Perhaps the line "That will jolt you with a scare." would be better?

In line nine: Perhaps the line "At dusk it awakes,"
In line ten: "making wildlife flee in fright"
In line 11: Perhaps the line: "It's called the Aussie Road Train," sounds better
In line 12: Perhaps the line: "one that brings us road kill plight."
In line 14: Perhaps the line: " and the subject of this rhyme." would better match the rhyme in line 16.

[Keith]

DOH! mucked up the first line. I really only started less than a year ago and had no idea of the tecnical aspects, it was just a bit of fun really. However, I have had the benefit of some brilliant coaching and as a result I have been reworking this for months. So further technical advice appreciated, I have made some adjustments following your suggestions. Thanks Keith.

[Aethereal]

Get to it! It's not up to me to rewrite your whole poem. I don't wanna go mad. You're a writer of epic poems. My poems are never that long, and each sings like a song. Just write your poems with a singing rhythm, with a beat in time, and all should go well.

[Keith]

Thanks again, much appreciated. However, I don't yet have the skills to perfect the meter etc, but I am working on it. At this stage, I need to leave this one alone as I really don’t see the flaws until pointed out. However, I am sure that in time I will revisit and wince in pain at what I wrote. I can see the benefits of perfecting the techniques, for example, every one of Davis Paget’s brilliant works has such a smooth flow, something to aspire to but unreachable for most of us. Meantime, I have lots more fun yarns to tell and will direct my energies there, hopefully each piece a little better than the last. However, if you would be so kind as to continue to review and provide this sort of feedback I am sure that I will be able to get where I want to go much faster. Just run your eye over a few lines as I don’t want to send you mad. I really appreciate hearing what I need to know rather than what I want to hear.
Cheers,
Keith.

[Aethereal]

I'll keep you in mind. I’ll check in from time to time. It seems to me that you're trying to turn what would otherwise be excellent short stories with a beginnings, middles, and ends into a form of poetry. You don't really need to worry about rhyme if you introduce a rhythm into each line that takes into consideration where accents fall on each word that you use. Any good dictionary will tell you where they fall. Unfortunately spell checker doesn’t include accent marks or all would be revealed. Good writing involves good research into the nature of each word that you use. Words are so much like those animals of yours in the Australian Outback.

[Aethereal]

I'll keep you in mind. I’ll check in from time to time. It seems to me that you're trying to turn what would otherwise be excellent short stories with a beginnings, middles, and ends into a form of poetry. You don't really need to worry about rhyme if you introduce a rhythm into each line that takes into consideration where accents fall on each word that you use. Any good dictionary will tell you where they fall. Unfortunately spell checker doesn’t include accent marks or all would be revealed. Good writing involves good research into the nature of each word that you use. Words are so much like those animals of yours in the Australian Outback.

[Keith]

OK, I will go do some research, thanks for the tip.

[carol burgess romance]

Very entertaining...my husband drove eighteen wheelers for most of his working life....I will let him read this he will surely enjoy.asuch a fun read.

[Keith]

Thanks again Carol, I am glad you enjoyed it, I am sure your husband will relate to the stupidity of the drivers (like this one) who take chances around trucks. Believe me, those road train drivers are really the gentlemen of the road.

[carol burgess romance]

I have been on a couple trips with him where my heart was in my throat from close encounters of the stupid kind

[quinfinn]

well, this may come as a surprise to you but, i drove eighteen wheelers for nine years...so i found this bloody marvelous entertainment. i could tell you some stories but this is your review, not mine. you did an excellent job at making this whole piece engaging and quite thrilling while building suspense , and at the same time, employing the perfect doses of humor. this is an outstanding write and going to my faves....thank you for sharing!

[Keith]

Thanks Quinn. I drove the 2600 miles Melbourne -> Darwin and then back a few months ago. At one time or another had a few doubts when passing road trains. Thats about 75 hours at the wheel, plenty of time time to string some verses together.

[Keith]

Also, I was worried that it might contain a bit much "Aussie" and not make much sense to people in other parts of the world. So I really appreciate feedback from a trucker. Thanks again for taking the time to read, its a pretty long one.

[Jack...]

What an adventure in Aussie driving culture I have just been taken on. Very cool my friend. I liked this alot.

[Keith]

Thank you Jack, it was nice to wake up this morning and find that someone had actually read it. Its pretty long and I was worried people would tune out part way through. Glad you liked it, been working on this for a while.