Sex and Vomit

David wakes up after the greatest one night stand in his life.

FADE IN:

INT. BEDROOM - MORNING

DAVID (23) opens his eyes in a strange bed. He looks terrible: eye’s puffed out, his left cheek wet from the drool accumulated on his pillow. 

Slowly, he rises, placing his head in his hands. Through his fingers, he eyes the bedroom door. 

CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

It’s the night before. The door slams open. David and a truly breathtaking GIRL fall into the room, their bodies intertwined.  

CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM - MORNING

David smiles, and stands, dragging the covers off a sleeping female wearing a tee shirt and beautiful black underwear. Her sleepy hand snakes down to pull the blanket back over her. 

David stumbles towards the bathroom. Reaching the door, his hand falls on the knob.

CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

David’s hand fumbles with the door knob trying to avoid being crushed by the Girl’s a*s. He manages to pull it open and...

CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM - MORNING

David opens the door and stumbles through.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - MORNING

David sleep-walks into the bathroom. He notices the shower curtain; half ripped from its bar.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

David and the Girl fall into the shower curtain, ripping it from the bar. 

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - MORNING

CLANG! David raises the toilet seat with his bare foot. Staring at the ceiling he starts to piss. Urine hits the floor, he hastily steers his stream over the seat and into the toilet. The sound of piss: ssssssssss.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Sssssss, the sound of the shower. David and the Girl have consummated the night. The steam rises, the Girl’s lips part with the moan of an imminent orgasm.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - MORNING

David groans in the mild ecstacy of relieving his bladder. He stares at the shower, lost in this perfect memory. 

David pulls his pants up, and burps. Rolling his eyes, he kneels down, places his hands on the urine stained seat and lets out a controlled blast of vomit. He has obviously done this many times before. 

The vomiting takes it out of him. He rolls to the side of toilet, panting.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Panting, David steps out of the shower. SQUEEK! His foot slips on the wet floor. He falls taking the Girl down with him. We follow the Girl’s laughter through the cut.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - MORNING

With her laughter still in his ears David slides in between the toilet and sink. He lets out a groan as he rests his head against the wall. 

A pack of cigarettes hangs off the top of the toilet bowl. David grabs the pack, opens it, and finds three cigarettes and a lighter. David smiles. Best day ever. 

The lighter sparks. The tip lights. David inhales, exhales, and sighs. 

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

The Girl lets out a satisfied sigh. They are on the floor now, round two is about to begin. 

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - MORNING

David continues to smoke. He rests his head against the wall, tapping his ash into the toilet. He notices a plastic bag wrapped around the smoke detector centered on the ceiling. With a smile, he blows a pillar of smoke its way.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

The plastic bagged smoke detector sits in the background, but quickly falls out of focus. The Girl’s face is in full heat in the foreground. She is perfect, her unblemished skin glistening with sweat.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - MORNING

David closes his eyes, and gives in to the memory.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

SUPER CUT OF SEX!

This is the kind of sex everyone dreams of having. It’s not just life-changing, but world shattering. Thoughts have no room in this whirlwind of limbs. Only feelings, only lust, only the moment. And then... BANG!

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - MORNING

David’s head whips up. There, standing in the doorway is the Girl. But she is not how we have come to know her. 

The black underwear is now covered by a long tee-shirt displaying an anthropomorphic carton of a milk with the words “I am the 2 percent.” Her unwashed hair covers blurry eyes and makeup that has dripped down to her chin. She is obviously the Girl from the night before, and yet not.

She stares at David in unfocused confusion. It’s obvious she’s having a hard time remembering him. David stares back, unsure what to do. 

Without warning the Girl suppresses a wave of vomit, and charges towards the toilet and David. Thankfully she gets most of the digested stomach acid into the toilet, only a little ends up on David. 

A strange tableau presents itself: Girl hurling into a toilet, Boy sitting just inches away, unable to keep his eyes from her, bathroom half destroyed by their nocturnal love-making. 

The Girl stops heaving, and with great effort pushes herself off the toilet and against the opposite wall. 

She doesn’t look at David. Her head falls to her chest, a bit of bile-filled drool hangs from her mouth, threatening the milk carton on her shirt. 

She wipes the drool away and with the same hand reaches towards David, her chin never leaving her chest. 

GIRL

Cigarette. 

David tosses her the pack. 

DAVID

They’re yours. 

The pack hits the Girl in the milk carton and drops to the floor. She makes no attempt to catch it. Only once it settles does she reach for it.

Mumbling something about thieves, she pops the slim into her mouth, and tries the lighter. It produces only sparks. Useless.

DAVID (CONT’D)

Here.

He offers his own lit cigarette. The Girl reaches her’s across the bathroom floor, kissing the two tips together. His cherry spreads to hers, and a thin pillar of smoke wafts from the conjoined cigarettes. 

The girl stares at David through her long bangs. David meets her eyes, only to look away. 

The Girl retreats to her wall, and begins to puff. 

A beat.

GIRL

So... what’s your name? 

David hesitates, then.

DAVID

David.

GIRL

I’m Emily. 

A long pause. The silence is felt.  

Their cigarettes burn low. Emily tries to rub her hangover away. The nicotine is not helping. She snuffs it out on the floor (or flicks it into the toilet), and leans towards David and states, rather bluntly. 

EMILY

I’m going back to bed. 

She rises and walks to the door. 

EMILY (CONT’D)

You can come if you want. 

She stands in the doorway, still beautiful, but not in the way he remembers.  

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

The Girl stands in the doorway. This is the Girl he remembers. Never before has there been a more beautiful creature.

 

THE GIRL

You coming to bed? Or are you finished?

A naked David sits with his back to the wall between the toilet and the sink. Hell yeah he’s coming. He rises and follows her out.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - MORNING

David doesn’t move. Emily smiles. 

EMILY

Well, nice meeting you. 

She exits, leaving David alone in the bathroom. His face equal parts scared and confused. 

CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM - MORNING

Emily crawls back into bed, lying with her back to the bathroom door, her eyes open.

We stay on Emily as the bathroom door opens and David enters. He slowly pulls on his pants, shirt and shoes. Once dressed, he stops and looks at her. He starts to speak, but doesn’t. He turns and leaves. We stay on Emily’s face until she closes her eyes.

FADE OUT:

Reviews

[L.P.Greene]

You need to remove the CUT TO's. This is something a producer or director would decide on. I understand knowing in your head where the cuts in scene come but it's not industry standard formatting.

You can term it a FLASHBACK in some places instead of having a cut. Also you are very description heavy and this reads more like a short story than a screenplay. This can be thinned out by removing unnecessary description.

I highly recommend using a scriptwriting software. This will format your work for you and save a lot of time. Amazon storywriter and trelby are both free to use and are highly recommended.

Your dialogue is good, effective and streamlined though there isn't much to judge. This is an honest portrayal of the morning after the night before and I like that. I can clearly see the walk of shame he's doing off screen at the end.

Thank you for sharing this piece, well done.

[Stars and Whales]

Holy crap you're writing is amazing! I was actually blown away. I wasn't expecting that, I just thought your writing style was unique and very, very good! Good work, I'll be sure to keep checking in and reading your stuff!

I just wrote my first screenplay, my first script, maybe could you give me some advice?? You're great. Or maybe we could work together in the future? Let me know, I'm all in. Here's the link to my script...

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/samfths/1865804/