Invoke an affair

To tempt thunder

and taste lightning

The world sunders

to a love so exciting 

Your spine is the river

I wish to swim across 

Every stroke uncovers

a star-crossed lovers loss

I feel the heat roaring 

within your volcanic chest

Your heart is soaring  

love no longer suppressed 

My restless ocean

I wish to drown in your embrace

Discovering new emotion

The pretty smile on your face

Through centuries past 
and centuries ahead
My kindred spirit at last

not much left unsaid

 

The sail is set in motion 

been put through the test of time

A heart filled with emotion

aching for the day you'll be mine

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

I often hear lyrics when I read you. You have some lovely poetic lines here, strong imagery and I can feel your emotion in your final lines. Your title is excellent. I always enjoy your work Kee.

Chris

[barleygirl]

I like the way you use some familiar metaphors, while twisting a word or two that makes the line original again . . . “tempt thunder and taste lightning” . . . “heat roaring within your volcanic chest” . . . “drown my restless ocean in your embrace.” All in all, this is a fine example of SHOWING instead of telling. Your sentiments are stated in unexpected ways, yet the overall sensations are recognizable. It gives the whole reading experience a feeling similar to meeting someone for the first time & watching things unfold, some familiar, some mysterious (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[.]

beautiful poem. I agree it does have a song structure or at least the first stanza. I LOVE THE OCEAN, SPINE IMAGERY. Good job, Keegan

[KeeD]

Thank you, I have no idea how to write poems in any sort of poetic structure so whatever I write I guess is so informal and presented more in terms of lyrics haha. Thanks for the review!

[.]

your welcome

[Mirror]

This would have served as a song, Keegan. It is beautiful.

[KeeD]

Haha, do you have a nice voice? D: sing it for me! Thank you for the wonderful review. Did you ever get to posting that next chapter?

[Mirror]

I am posting page by page. so, yes i have posted another page. i want to spend sometime too to read others. still, thank you for your great inspiration..

[AYVID N]

Oh this is so beautiful...I love rhyming and you are so good at it Keegan. My absolutely favorite verse:

My restless ocean
I wish to drown in your embrace
What keeps me floating
Is that look on your pretty face

Mindblowing and more!

[KeeD]

Thank you Divya, have a wonderful evening.

[AYVID N]

You too Keegan. It will be great to read you and I hope the weather is great in Mumbai

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like the near rhyme in the first stanza...really like the metaphor in the second...the spine idea...nicely done there...and uncovering what the star crossed lovers lost...that would be quite exciting, yes...
this is a mystical love poem.
j.

[KeeD]

Not one of my top pieces, but that you for the kind review Jacob.

[ms. barrie]

exquisite imagery and briilant word-weaving. your pen painted a portrait of longings mixed in with myth. this is truly enchanting ~ thank you for sharing ~ X

[KeeD]

Thank you for the kind review friend.