Dreaming for deliverance

O’ I remember the house by the creek

Between the okra trees and river streams

Enslaved in my mind I shall forever sustain

Visions of undying sacrifice, love, and pain

 

Out on the porch where the fireflies waltz

I reminisce of a stable time within those walls

O’ Mother your voice enchants my ears

The sound of flutes and playful cheer

 

O’ the forest roared a fire so fierce

What did we do to deserve natures curse?

You delivered me from the dark that night

But you had to leave, for you saw the light

 

Sorrow and sadness consumed me whole

Burnt were those walls we once called home

I look towards the day we meet again

O’ Mother, please promise you won’t leave me then

 

O’ Singer so pure, you ferried me into dreams every night

Now I lay awake, alone in the quiet

I lay under stars just to get a glimpse of your face

Mother, you are the greatest gift in all time and space

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

for a picture poetry contest with 10 words
S I N G E R S
E N S L A V E D
G I F T
F L U T E
O K R A
B U R N T
D E L I V E R Y
U N D Y I N G
S T A B L E
T O W A R D S

http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/10-Words-I-Give/52770/

Reviews

[barleygirl]

You do a good job of using some unusual words without it seeming forced. Your poem has a tentative sense of rhyme & rhythm which goes well with the hesitant approach toward your message. At first I was thinking “Mom” in the traditional sense, as a person, but as I read on, I felt the concept of “Mom” is used in a more universal way . . . maybe as a “God” entity with female attributes . . . or as I call her, Grandmother Moon . . . could be Mother Earth, too! Your poem is written in a way so it doesn’t have to be one particular “Mom” idea . . . it can be all ideas. That’s the magic of writing in a less specific, but still vividly detailed way! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[AYVID N]

Such beauty and sadness evoked using ten choice words. Touched me so totally, this poem for an angel on earth. Great images and story content and an awesome emotional experience. Appreciated so much Keegan!

[KeeD]

Thank you Divya for this wonderful review.

[Sami Khalil]

"You delivered me from the dark that night
But you had to leave, for you saw the light

Sorrow and sadness consumed me whole
Burnt were those walls we once called home"

[Sami Khalil]

What a great tribute to her. What a soft and endearing words. Lovely images dance in eyes and sounds touch the ears of present. You shine so bright in your soul...:)...................

[KeeD]

thank you so much!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)...............

[Coyote Poetry]

A wonderful poem.
"Now I lay awake, alone in the quiet
I lay under stars just to get a glimpse of your face
Mother you are the greatest gift in all of time and space"
The above lines. Perfect place and wish. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[KeeD]

Thank you sir, I appreciate the encouragement and kind review.

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Veronique]

Oh Keegan this is one of the most beautiful writes that your heart gentle heart could ever share that has brought tears to these brown eyes of mine with it's softness darlin' as I think of my precious mama and the beautiful countryside she roamed in the hills where she grew up and where I played as a child and it makes me miss her all the more because her birthday would be April 29th which draws close and I picture her lovely face and hear her gentle voice and sweet memories brought back through your precious words of longing dearest Keegan!It has been too long since I have perused your lovely writes and I'm sorry I have been away for so long but life has been cruel.Big hugs and smiles to you...Mary

[KeeD]

Today's the 29th of april for me, So happy birthday to your mom, wherever she maybe, she's got so much love sent her way by you and your family and friends. How are you Mary, i'm sorry life hsa been not so kind but it tends to do that sometimes, glad it hasn't changed the person you are though, you are still the sweet, kind, talented person I know. Hope things look up for you and its wonderful to hear from you. Thank you for your kind words and wonderful review.

[Veronique]

Thank you dearest Keegan... :) I have missed you and your lovely writes! I will try to be around more in the future...:)

[ms. barrie]

poignant ink drops your pen spills, Keegan ...your choice of words
{imagery & dictation} truly captives one's imagination and psyche.
keep up the great work. thank you for sharing

[Ruth]

Amazing emotion woven...so tangible, you have a knack of pushing right to the heart with your writing :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow this reminds me of my own mother...our days in Vermont...how she loved it there...

all the sounds, the chorus of animals we used to hear...i really like how your first two lines of each stanza use slant rhyme...and how this just flows so easily...and fits together like a perfect puzzle of nature and love of family...

j.

[KeeD]

that's a wonderful image of your family jacob. i'm humbled by your kind review, thanks friend.