#1 Candidate for organ donation

Cut me open

and extract my beating heart

I'm in the business of organ donation

you're in it to tear my life apart

 

Salutations to yesterdays flowing love

like a blockage you infest my very core

empty vessel left for dead 

from your parasitic feast galore 

 

I tried to save your life

by providing you with a heart

your body soon rejected it 

apparently it wasn't cold enough

 

I blamed it on the surgeons 

I had my disputes with God 

but eventually I did realize

the very idea of donating love is flawed

 

I'm terminally screwed up in the head

for believing you were something else

you are a heart attack waiting to happen

I'm your #1 Candidate for organ donation

 

 

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I quite enjoyed the overall metaphor in this one...organ donation or the "giving of one's heart". The heart is just a muscle that pumps blood through the body, and yet we place so much emphasis upon it as a marker for love--perhaps because it resides in our core; the nexus of our being.

I love the last stanza in this one..."terminally screwed up in the head"--a great line, and one that I have thought about myself from time to time.

[KeeD]

Thank you Sarah

[ANTO]

Thats a good point Sarah. Why isn't our liver or our brain the love marker? I get headache from the tension surrounding relationships much more than I get heartache, such that it is.
Interesting...
Great poem Keegan

[KeeD]

Cheers thanks for reading and I agree too much emphasis on the heart as the source of love.

[Vidya Bacchus]

cool writing on giving away your heart.Nice

[KeeD]

thank you, sometimes pain is the best inspiration.

[Pryde Foltz]

Some wry and 'cynical' humour, here. And a lovely rhyme to boot. But I can't help going 'ahh' in a there, there voice.

I do hope you retrieved your heart from the wreck.
It may a beater buts one is all your get.

[KeeD]

Ahh, there, there is what I tell myself constantly. How could I have been so foolish.. unfortunately the damage was done and I haven't figured out a way to repair my heart as yet, even though one is all I get i've given up on it beating to the rhythm of love

[Pryde Foltz]

Let it skip a beat or two
even more
there's still time
and one unsuspecting
read moreLet it skip a beat or two
even more
there's still time
and one unsuspecting
to settle the score

That was suppose to make you laugh.

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Beautifully and thoughtfully composed. I love the idea of using the donation of your heart for a poem. Very well done.

[KatDarkness]

I love this one, beautifully worded and very powerful. :)

[Frieda P]

Woo, sassy this one, full of moxy and resentment. Bat shyte crazy good Kee....a twisted rendition for the brokenhearted, clever the way you spun this one...'terminally screwed up in the head', ha relatable!

[s y e]

This is a good, powerful write. I had to do a project on Organ Donation last year, and people from different places came around to watch me give my presentation, it was a long, stressful time. I had to go visit some people and all but after a month of hard work, I done my presentation and it was a success, so I was happy. Haha. A lovely write Kee, as always. Good job.

[KeeD]

< 3 you're our rising star, I wouldn't be Keegan without you.

[s y e]

Aha, funny. You'd be Keegan no matter what. You got the whole world on your shoulders. :)

[KeeD]

The world is heavy yo, lend me your shoulders :P

[s y e]

Aha, it is pretty heavy yeah but ya know what I mean. Make me look smart on live feed, please. ;-)

[Muse]

There's a sick twist of irony to this, which explains why I enjoyed this so much. This topic matter inspired me for a writing a long time back...but I could never get it right...so I never shared it on the café. I think you just shared a pen-stroke of morbidity that is delivered with a teaspoon of wisdom. Awesome stuff. :))

[KeeD]

Thank you Muse :D with organ donor day coming up, I wanted to write a touching piece on the subject but I think my mind was in the wrong place and when I started writing down it just took a 180 turn in the opposite direction, heh. Thank you so much for reading me

[Muse]

of course. :))

[Poussiere D'Ange]

Whoah Kee, this poem is wonderful. It's sad and heart-breaking, and its got a lot of depth. It's like i could actually feel the pain and the emptiness when someone takes one's heart and then rejects it What's a body without a heart? The metaphor with the organ donation part fits perfectly with this situation. I loved this a lot. Very well penned:-):-):-):-D.

[KeeD]

Thank you so much :D Still don't let this poem tell you otherwise, handing out your heart can be the best feeling in the world as well.

[Poussiere D'Ange]

Yeah i guess:-D:-D:-D.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

don't care too much for the colored words...but....i love the metaphor of this poem...very strongly presented and with really strong sentiment...

i might as well be an organ donor because you are killing my heart...the rest of me should be salvageable...

jacob

[KeeD]

Very well said jacob, I like that, that's the message I wanted this poem to send out. Also i'll remove the color, thanks for the constructive feedback, love your reviews.