I saw the pic.the title and I KNEW THIS WOULD BE FANTASTIC WORK. There is something magical and romantic about the glow of a bonfire. The smell...the sparks...it inspires the heat of love.
To jazzy skies of grey
Intoxicated by flames reflected in your eyes
Far far away I hide and seek, forever yours
Love like embers implanted in your cheeks
Your fiery smile in the cool breeze
Romantic music set's the mood to please
Roaring with the wind, screaming your name
Chase after you through the seven seas
Bonfires take us away
I love how you ended every thought with the "Bonfire's take us away" such a fluid read. A favorite.
another thing..Put me to sleep, some dreams I forever want to keep" that saying is worth quoting over and over again...dreams and words to live by. xo
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Haha wow you make me so proud of writing :D Like i'll be honest with you muse, I sit down and go to .. read moreHaha wow you make me so proud of writing :D Like i'll be honest with you muse, I sit down and go to write something and I honestly don't believe in it until I read the reviews on here and I start to question myself... is it really as good as these amazing people say, I mean wow you make me feel proud to write, thank you!!! I loved that line too "Put me to slee, some dreams I forever want to keep" I hope the poem plants an image or reminds people of their fondest memories of being in love :)
11 Years Ago
Oh by the way Muse is the font and music distracting?
11 Years Ago
hell no...the music is superp..you know my taste...I think. If there was singing...I think it can t.. read morehell no...the music is superp..you know my taste...I think. If there was singing...I think it can take away from the poet's words. But it's soft...moody..who is this guy he's fabulous!
11 Years Ago
Luis oneto, you can find his music on soundcloud.com, Thank you for being so supportive < 3
Ok so I GUESS this is an older one of yours, seeing as I'm the first to review in forever BUT WHATEVER THIS WAS AMAZING. I love your work and the personality it reflects!
I feel like this is that kind of insecure love you feel at, well, a bonfire party or something in high school, the kind that feels like it lasts forever:) my interpretation anyway.
Wait sorry I fucked up!
That's the featured review k good:)
11 Years Ago
Indeed that's what inspired me to write it the absence of such a feeling at such a party. It's the p.. read moreIndeed that's what inspired me to write it the absence of such a feeling at such a party. It's the place I wanted to go to the most at the time. Writing somehow takes me to places I physically can't be.
11 Years Ago
I understand, completely. And you captured the wistful feeling, too.
Romantic, charming and encompasses all that is sweet about love. There are lovely touches of tenderness in places and some very potent imagery. I like the way your poem sways back and forth between warmth and cold, light and darkness, whilst maintaining a peaceful atmosphere throughout. Good use of similes and metaphors to create an impact. Also, some sparing but judicious use of rhyme to keep the flow going smoothly.
My favourite lines here are
"Looking at the night blend in with the waves"
and
"To a mystical place where the moon and the sun
Kiss and exchange glances, summer and winter romances"
Well done, Keegan
Thanks!
This is so beautiful, so romantic, so hypnotizing. I read it like a hundred times, so captivating. And the music and the picture made it even better. Such a powerful write.
100 for this one!
That was a constructive comment. I still loved this piece; but yes, it lacked imagery according to m.. read moreThat was a constructive comment. I still loved this piece; but yes, it lacked imagery according to me. May be, you will learn with age :)
11 Years Ago
Looking forward to learning. Any helpful tips will be appreciated.
11 Years Ago
Firstly, try not to rhyme forcefully. Experiment with a genre like free verse, tanka, and so on. Als.. read moreFirstly, try not to rhyme forcefully. Experiment with a genre like free verse, tanka, and so on. Also, take care of the grammar :)
You took me away with this one, this poem has a great atmosphere and the lines of thought seem to offer a gateway to another realm of possibilities. The beautiful power of fire really comes out in this one, I can feel the heat of it
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
:) that's a really cool review, thank you so much.
Very nice imagery and feelings of romance. I really like the last part:
"Like a candle on a table shedding warmth out
Bonfires take us away...
...Towards an endless love"
The warmth of being with someone special, and the beauty of the surroundings and the sky...you captured this all well in this poem.
Lovely Soundcloud music in your Author's Note as well.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
:) thank you for your wonderful review, you're a beautiful soul.
Reading this piece makes me crave the sensation of sitting in the sand at night by a bonfire watching the stars. a sort of longing. The love you convey in this hits home for me. I've always found it difficult to put into words this sort of feeling and here you are mastering it. Especially the imagery. I know this isn't to do with the words but I love the way you utilized font and color, makes the imagery stand out even more. And hey, there's those dreams again!
Bonfires take us away...towards an endless love--beautifully said. There is a romance here that I quite needed right about now; it's funny how certain things are put into your lap when you need them the most. I imagine one day to feel this way fully and completely, but I think my mind is too questioning and unaccepting for such things. Well done write, my friend!
Hey I'm Kee, I'm 32 and work as a journalist in Mumbai, India. I dabble in writing poetry and do it purely to pump out the creative juices in my being. Thank you for stopping by, live, laugh and love .. more..