Bridge after Coma

Got this idea after reading Muse's poem "Walking Across Water"

I don't feel awake

The first step

It's the hardest

I am incapable of moving past it

Will you take me across

Disillusioned by decisions 

Fragile, I've broken myself 

Carrying my own cross

Hold my hand

I'm shaky and my legs give in

Understand, I'm not ready 

There's too much hurt within

Halfway there

I feel your strength run through me

The cloak of your embrace

I can taste serendipity in the air 

Is God aware

I'm drowning in my own despair 

Held tight by a mother's hold

Feels so warm yet she's so cold

Stay with me still

Only memories are here to stay

Was a time when you said you'd never go away

Then why am I alone

Mama

This is the bridge that's going to take us home

Why am I afraid that you're going to go alone

Another sleepless night 

Can you hear my cries 

Calling out your name

Building bridges just to numb the pain

I never want to forget your face

Is this my fate

To live on without you 

It was my fault 

he took you away

I'm not too late

Mama, I'm taking the bridge to you now

I'll see you as soon as all my blood pours out 

We'll be together, happy again

   Don't text and drive my friends

Reviews

[Andie]

"Hold my hand?
I'm shaky and my legs give in
Understand I'm not ready
There's to much hurt within"

That one's my favorite. It's so versatile, and seems like something I would write.
The picture is really beautiful and seem endless.
Good job Kee. It was very well written. :3

[KeeD]

Thank you Amanda :3 It does seem endless now that I look at it :D

[Lewis Davis-Norman]

I can't help but have mixed emotions with this one. On one level, its beautiful and gently flowing. However, on another level, its deeply chilling and disturbing. Poignant write my friend.

[Carly]

I've said it before, but you tell excellent stories with your poetry. Finding the right balance between the narration and description is tricky, but you did it. You definitely elicited an emotional response from your audience. Love it!

[Krista Gallant]

Excellent piece! All factors work extremely well together. Your form, content, vocabulary, layout... magnificient!

[Serenity Faith]

This makes me think of "Stairway To Heaven" Led Zeppelin. The picture too. It's so sad. It also reminds me of an episode of Haunted Highway I watched one time. In the episode a woman was traveling a dark windy road with her son, and he was little I wanna say 5? And she wrecked off the road and down a mountain. There was no evidence of the wreck on the road so no one knew it. Along the road another woman thought she saw a naked woman lying on the side of the road. She made her husband turn around but there was no one there. She called the cops! And still there was no one there...the little boy's aunt kept having dreams about the number 12. A week went by from the time of the wreck, and the officer on the case saw a sign on the side of the road. It was a 12 mile marker, and beside it was a shoe. He went farther back into the woods and saw mangled car parts left and right until he came to the bottom. He saw a blinding light and then noticed the rest. The seats were all that was left of the car, where the woman and her son was. The woman had died instantly, but amazingly enough the small boy in the back seat had been saved. The people involved believed it was the mother that led them to her son, even after death. This was a wonderful piece. Don't stop writing!

[CecilA]

Keegan,

The only word I didn't read in the previous reviews that sums up my impression of your poem is: Masterpiece.

It's aways a pleasure to review your work. I appreciate the opportunity to be one of your writer friends. You inspire me.

If you ever go for a walk and end up in New York, USA call me and we'll have lunch.

Sincerely,

Cecil

[KeeD]

I miss seeing you around friend, hope all is well and wish you an amazing New Year

[MandaBear]

Awwww. The picture is awesome. So well written. Just amazing!

[s y e]

"Hold my hand?
I'm shaky and my legs give in"

Just a couple of my favourite lines. I can't really pick any 'favourites' because it was all so good. I abhor people who text/smoke while driving. They are putting themselves in danger as well as others. A very emotional, touching and haunting write, Kee.
Good job.

100/100 and going in my favourites :)

[KeeD]

< 3 :D xD I love that you liked it. Noodle's get her license as yet? I respect you so much, you have such an intelligent head on your shoulders. Rock on Sye!

[s y e]

No Kee, not 'like' LOVE it! Naaaaah, not yet -.-
I respect you too hun, you teach me lots and are so kind. Love ya lots ;) Haha, Rock N Roll monkey ;-)
Keep doing what your doing because your awesome blossom. You inspire me as do others. ;-) < 3 xo

[icelandicblue]

This made my eyes fill with tears. Having lost someone to a car accident the family spent so much energy on the last few moments of his life, you made me think of what the next few moments might have been like and I thank you.

[KeeD]

wow :) this review made me gasp as not only am I flattered by your kindness but also my heart feels heavy after reading what you wrote about losing someone and the journey of what the next few moments might have felt like. That touched me. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you ever so much your review is really appreciated and I hold it in high regards, you've made my day.

[icelandicblue]

Your poem haunts me. I had to come back and read it again. It is deep and poignant.

[Anna]

This is a beautiful poem. Incredibly heart breaking and emotional.
Its impossible not to be impacted by a poem like this.
You did an amazing job at telling a story through emotions

"Fragile, this time I've broken myself
I carry my own cross" I am in love with this line. I love the allusion used with the cross
and the self caused, self destroyed aspect.
Beautiful.

[KeeD]

:D Thank you Anna, :P how I write my poems is first I rhyme whatever content I have in my head down on paper and then I fix it with more suitable words and structure :D in this case working in my favor I guess, haha

[Alissa]

... I almost cried, no I never cry. Beautiful writing and sia playing in the background only adds to the wonderful effect of this writing.

[KeeD]

Ha strong girls don't cry :P Thank you so much < 3!