Breath Taken Away

Breath Taken Away

A Poem by KeeD
"

When I was confused once upon a time, a girl cleared up my mind.

"
Breath taken away 

Girls only wanted me for my body and soul
They never let me concentrate on my goals
My life just kept drifting away
Girls got involved but girls didn't stay
I waited and stressed day after day
That one day some girl's going to take my breath away
I kept my dreams alive
Day and night I strive
I made no mistake
No heart did I break
Far far away , far over seas
A girl i'd not know , suffered the lonely disease
And one day we spoke , with tender words
My heart melted , my mind blurred
I fell in love , its like she was sent from above
State of mind , eyes turned blind
My feelings invoked , love was the only word I spoke
I couldn't control the feelings I had
These feelings inside me weren't so bad
We would sit up at night , stare at the stars
She and me would talk for hours
We danced in the moonlight , we danced till day
I looked in her eyes ,my breath taken away.

© 2012 KeeD


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Reviews

Wow, this was good. You got the emotions perfectly! Well done my dear.

Posted 11 Years Ago


I found this so cute and the rhyming worked so well with this too! A lot of girls in your life don't stay around to really know you like you know yourself, but once you find the one you feel is right, you'll instantly know. Your heart will beat faster when they are around, you might get a bit nervous and as you said, your breath will be taken away. That's when you know you've found love. Great write!

Posted 11 Years Ago


DoNt LoSe YoUrSeLf

11 Years Ago

Being honest though nonetheless :)
KeeD

11 Years Ago

I wrote it a bout a girl, I liked who lived really really far away. I loved her more than I've loved.. read more
DoNt LoSe YoUrSeLf

11 Years Ago

I know how that feels...falling in love with someone who isn't near you. That always seems to be eas.. read more
So beautiful to be in the place where love clouds everything else and takes over your heart and your soul. If only it would stay that way forever :) Another awesome poem from you

Posted 11 Years Ago


KeeD

11 Years Ago

Thank you :) and if only..
Carolann Dowsett

11 Years Ago

Yes if only :)
Very well done... Most poems focus on action or emotion. This emphasizes both.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Beautiful poem. I haven't read this one. Shows a lot of emotion. I like this. Nice write. :)


Posted 12 Years Ago


KeeD

12 Years Ago

Thank you :D, can't believe I used to feel that way, it seems like a distant memory now days.
}Echo{

12 Years Ago

Welcomes. :) Yeah.. Well I'm glad you feel better now. :))
Ah, a beautiful love poem. I haven't read one in a long time, and this was wonderful. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


KeeD

12 Years Ago

Thank you, that's really sweet of you to say. ;3
Andie

12 Years Ago

No problem. :)
You did a great job with getting the emotions across, I felt this one was a little choppy and didn't flow quite as well. All in all, a nice love story.

Posted 12 Years Ago


KeeD

12 Years Ago

gonna make you do a million poses, haha.
Should I rename this poem "All up under the covers d.. read more
Frieda P

12 Years Ago

LOLOLOL
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

By the way, what's wrong with only being wanted for your body and soul?
;-)
Sounds like the most beautiful thing to want to have in a relationship

Posted 12 Years Ago


KeeD

12 Years Ago

Sure was, thank you ;3
This is a beautiful descrption of the emotion love put into a set of words that tells and amazing story. Well done! ^^

Posted 12 Years Ago


KeeD

12 Years Ago

thank you ;3
Bluefire

12 Years Ago

No problem ^^
A beautiful love poem =)
Thanks for sharing it.
Keep writing and I'll keep reading.


Posted 12 Years Ago


KeeD

12 Years Ago

thank you! :D

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20 Reviews
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Added on December 7, 2012
Last Updated on December 8, 2012

Author

KeeD
KeeD

Mumbai, India, India



About
Hey I'm Kee, I'm 32 and work as a journalist in Mumbai, India. I dabble in writing poetry and do it purely to pump out the creative juices in my being. Thank you for stopping by, live, laugh and love .. more..

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