Breath Taken Away

When I was confused once upon a time, a girl cleared up my mind.

Breath taken away 

Girls only wanted me for my body and soul
They never let me concentrate on my goals
My life just kept drifting away
Girls got involved but girls didn't stay
I waited and stressed day after day
That one day some girl's going to take my breath away
I kept my dreams alive
Day and night I strive

I made no mistake
No heart did I break
Far far away , far over seas
A girl i'd not know , suffered the lonely disease
And one day we spoke , with tender words
My heart melted , my mind blurred
I fell in love , its like she was sent from above
State of mind , eyes turned blind
My feelings invoked , love was the only word I spoke
I couldn't control the feelings I had
These feelings inside me weren't so bad
We would sit up at night , stare at the stars
She and me would talk for hours
We danced in the moonlight , we danced till day
I looked in her eyes ,my breath taken away.

Reviews

[misha]

This was such a great poem. You did an amzing job painting a background of scenes. Awesome job!

[KeeD]

thank you :3 !

[Circe]

heartfelt, romantic and a kind of dream come true... a love that's pure and worthy has the power to put things into perspective, and feeling like all is right in the world. it's quite realistic and full of wonder too. great piece.

[KeeD]

Thanks for the awesome review, yeah I was really in a state where I had given up on love and then a long distance relationship, silly as it may sound gave purpose to my life again. Thanks you, hope you have an awesome night!

[BINGBINGBING]

wow what an amazing poem, so beautifully written with such thought and amazing imagery. what a lucky girl. you seem like a great guy and an amazing writer :)

[~SouthernGirl~]

This is absolutely incredible. It's beautiful... The structure and rhyme of the poem is great. The imagery is wonderful. This really paints a picture and shows the reader your emotions. This is wonderful. Great write. :)

[KeeD]

wow thank you so much, that was an awesome review!

[~SouthernGirl~]

You're Welcome. :)

[ms. barrie]

this is an incredible write. simply beautiful in its heartfelt honesty...eloquent in your ability to capture the imagery of romantic longings and very descriptive in portraying all the senses. one of my favorites on here. thanks for your lovely reviews upon my writings. 100 to 100, thanks for sharing :)

[KeeD]

what an amazing review, Thank you, you have made my day :D!

[ms. barrie]

you welcome,this really is a beautiful poem...was a pleasure to read, so you're quite welcome. glad to know i made someone's day :)

[Steven]

A girl i'd not know , suffered the lonely disease

Really like the simple, clear idea of "the lonely disease." Nice heartfelt rhyme, man.

[KeeD]

Thank you!

[C.C. Marx]

How wonderful! Isn't it amazing how one person can change your life? :)

[KeeD]

Sure is, Thank you!

[C.C. Marx]

My pleasure

[rnuff]

Such a wonderful write

[KeeD]

Thank you :D!

[Eric Cox]

Beautiful. Romantic but not sappy. An excellent write. Nicely done.

[KeeD]

Thank you :D!

[Eric Cox]

welcome.

[Tasha]

This is beautiful and really sweet. I loved the way you wrote this, she is one lucky girl. Fantastic job!!

[KeeD]

I've never had lucky with girls, was just talking to my mom about it, heartbreaks n stuff. I wrote this when I was in grade 10 for a girl in Canada I fell for over a game. She broke my heart n blocked me out of her life completely when I was a kid, I got over it, but i'm great full to her because she got me into writing. Thank you so much for the review, you're the first review I've gotten on this site. Much appreciated, you words mean the world to me. Would love if you could take a look at my other stuff whenever you had time I could use all the constructive help I can get.

[Tasha]

No problem, out of every bad situation comes something good. You were able to turn that heartbreak into something amazing. I'd love to read more of your work and I hope you do the same for me. I can't believe I'm the first person. You're a great writer.