Into the Grey

A poem about a girls eyes.

Into the Grey 

Eyes so grey they light up the night sky

The sound of wolves howl and cry 

The unity of soul as the night embarks

The journey of love in the dark

Skin so pale like crystallized snow

A smile so radiant filled with glow

She's mysterious and intelligent

I am flattered to be in her presence.

I wake up after this surreal dream

Only to wake up next to this beautiful Queen.

With eyes so deep it's easy to get lost in them

Somehow i'm living a dream that never ends.

Reviews

[Lover Of Words]

wow you are so good you may hurt one of us!!!! IM SHOCKED!!! LOL LOVELY

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarri..]

WoW! claps!! beautiful and elegant!!
Loved the couplets :)

[KeeD]

Thank you for the kind review :)

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

thank you for writing! Don't lose the spirit!

[KAOlmsted]

*laugh* Okay, you're not fooling around with the RRs now, are you :-D Seriously, I'm kidding...I will read everything you send me; thank you. Okay. The first two lines really set this piece up nicely, because whenever I think of wolves, I picture those startling gray-blue eyes, you know, like they're just staring at you, thinking, I'm going to eat you...so that imagery is exquisite. And then the beauty of the girl really flows from the prose, after which we find out, oh! She's beside him...what a beautiful love story. My only b***h, and I'm so sorry I have even one, would be the second to last stanza. Unless the piece is in the second person the entire time, I hate the word "you", as in, let me tell "you" about what I'm saying...just say it. "With eyes so deep I get lost in them" Don't tell me I'd get lost in them, I want to feel lost in them through you...Thanks so much for sharing this with us, Keegan. It really is lovely.

[KAOlmsted]

oops, I meant second to last line ;-) sorry...

[KeeD]

xD thank you this is really helpful :D omg kimmers sending 1000 flying kisses your way.

[KAOlmsted]

Is that what that is?? I nearly ducked, now I'll be sure to stand up and get every last one ;-) My pleasure, Kee...

[KeeD]

Don't worry :P i'm prepared for situations like that, they've got heat detectors on them and they're headed right back at you :) xoxo

[KAOlmsted]

:-x (p.s. I have only a small amount of time left to fool around in the cafe tonight, so I am saving your three-part series for tomorrow; just wanted to let you know)

[KeeD]

Thank you, those were the first poems I posted on this site.. Just wanted to try my hand at a darker genre..Thank you so much for taking the time to read my work, it means the world to me. xoxo have an amazing day Kimmers.

[KAOlmsted]

Night Kee.

[Andie]

Ugh, gray eyes are so amazing. I swear to you, I wish I could swim in them! I only know one guy with gray eyes, and he's gay. lmao!
This was very pretty. You really painted a picture for us.
Nice job! :)

[KeeD]

lol my ex had grey eyes, she was the most beautiful girl ever, but meh stuff didn't work out.. but yeah you're exactly right you just drown in the eyes.. they enchant you. Thank you so much for reviewing. You're awesome, you always take the time to review my stuff. much appreciated.

[Andie]

You'll find someone perfect eventually. We all have a match out there.
I enjoy reading your work. It's always amazing. The least I can do is leave a review!
You're more awesome!! X)

[KeeD]

You're the awesome-st, to infinity & beyond. Can't get more awesome than that. I'm writing another love poem but it's so hard to write when you don't actually have those feelings. So i'm going to like think of spongebob and everyone knows I totally love him.

[Andie]

Who doesn't love spongebob!? No matter how old you are, he's always hilarious! :)
Do you have a cat? Write a love poem about your cat. lol

[KeeD]

Yeah I have a cat, a persian cat. He's a brat, he looks exactly like garfield and he eats chips and scratches a lot. Always running away from home and coming back when hes hungry. If i write about my cat, it would totally be a I hate you, you're annoying poem. lmao

[Andie]

Haha. I had an outdoor cat along time ago. Her name was Mrs. Toughcee (Don't ask lol) We had her for like a year, then our neighbors stole her. When we asked them about it, they said they gave our cat to their mother. Haha!

[KeeD]

Hahaha them neighbors.. always taking whats not there's. Don't worry I bet Mrs.Toughcee (still laughing at the name) s***s in their house all the time.. and claws their couch and curtains. You go kwat, you undercover spy :P

[Andie]

Lol I hope! She always gave us hell! But she was cool.

Wow... we got really off topic. XD

[}Echo{]

This is so sweet. And it's really sweet you wrote this for here. This paints a wonderful picture. Wonderful write as usual. :)

[KeeD]

Thank you, your reviews are the sweetest :)

[}Echo{]

:))

[Rob Santana]

hahaaha,let me tell you something,I'm a sucker for a woman with colored eyes!!! it's over for me. I get hypnotized by colored eyes. Good write brother.

[KeeD]

Thank you, I live in a country where blue/grey eyed people are few to none. So the fact that her eyes were so rare captivated me. One of the reasons I summoned the courage to talk to her in the first place. Appreciate your reviews so much, thanks for visiting!

[Rob Santana]

Well if your ever in California you let me know. I'll take you on a tour of Los Angeles,CA plenty of women with beautiful colored eyes,haha.

[KeeD]

haha the last time I visited CA was when I was 11? :p Was in Santa Monica for a month on holiday, Venice beach and the peer and freaking Disney land, what a trip! and fo sure I might totally just take you up on that, Blondes with colored eyes, my Achilles' heel :P

[Rob Santana]

hahaha,I love them types as well,my favorite,haha. We would have a blast!!!

[Frieda P]

I don't know if her eyes are really grey or not but I've always thought those were the most lovely, as is your poem. It flows beautifully aside from your rapture with the semicolon. Totally unnecessary in my opinion, but seems as though you're quite taken with them. ;-) Kudos, otherwise.

[KeeD]

Yes they were the lightest shades of grey, Fixed the semicolon problem thank you for pointing it out. Thank you for taking the time to read my work and for the wonderful review

[Tasha]

This is so sweet and a very poetic piece. Keep up the beautiful work!

[~SouthernGirl~]

This is wonderful. It's so sweet that you wrote this for her. The flow and rythem of this poem is beautiful. The detail is great. It paints a wonderful picture in the readers head. I really like this. Beautifully written. :)

[KeeD]

Thank you so much, She loved it, her eyes are really the most gorgeous inspiring eyes i've ever seen. I'm glad you liked it, you're awesome. I friend requested you so I can review your work, i'm sure its amazing. Appreciate your kind reviews, thank you!

[~SouthernGirl~]

You're welcome. That's really cool. ;) Thanks, you seem pretty cool, too. :)

[rnuff]

A very poetic wonderful piece