Unknown as of yet(update)

I’ve edited a bit, plan on adding more. I just need opinions on the concept to see if its more or less engaging then previous post. And reviews or suggestions welcome.

You know that moment when you’re lost in you’re own thoughts and you’re staring off into the distance, you’re in a cloud with nothing else but you. It’s somewhat quiet. You’re alone. Its just you, your thoughts and you feel yourself going wherever they want to take you. For me its always been my favourite way to escape. Escape from all thats surrounding me, my struggles in this life, my regrets, my unreachable hopes I once had for myself, my desire for happiness, but most of all, him. All of my inner thoughts are still very loud, sometimes so loud that its deafening, but its bareable at least. In those short moments the world feels a little quieter and I feel at peace. I can feel myslef floating off to wherever my mind wants to take me.

And then suddenly something or someone grabs my attention, im back in the chaotic life that is mine. I realise I’m stuck, no longer floating off on my own, no longer at peace
“You know I love you” he mutters, enough to get my attention.
I flinch, but quickly smile at him as though its so nice to hear those words come from his mouth, even though deep down I feel as though I dont want to be here..
“I love you too” I convincinly let him know, hoping he buys my fake affection. He brushes his finger along the bruise on my forearm he’d put there the night before.
“I didn’t want to hurt you, Jessiebear” He states unapologetically. I hate when he calls me that.
“I know, I didn’t mean the things I said either” I smile at him, reasuringly letting him know. Lying.

I pick up my book from my lap and pretend to read it some more. I haven’t turned the page since I picked it up to read twenty minutes ago. I look up to him and smile, hoping he hasn’t realised that I’ve been off in my own world again just staring at the same page.


I often think back to the moment I first met Cole, His eyes are what had me, the lightest green, most kind, yet mysterious eyes I have ever seen. His lips, how they would curl at the side of his mouth as though there was the slightest hint of a smile. How his light brown-gingery hair curled at the ends. At the time, I felt he was exactly what I needed, he was what I wanted. I fell in love with the person I was when he was around. I felt motivated for the first time in years, I wanted to better myself, to prove that I was worth it. Of course that feeling always left my body as soon as he left to go home.
Truthfully I was the opposite to what he saw. I remember as soon as he left, I took a deep breath as though I was holding it the whole time. I remember how it saddened me.

Now eleven years later as I sit by his side and look at him now, I see the want in his eyes. Cole had always had only the best things in his life. He grew up in a perfect house and had very well put together family, he had the one thing in his life that I desperately needed the most. A sense of security. It was what he was conditioned to, therefore thats what he expects and thats what he needs. I get a strong sense that its not me he desires. The real me at least. He wants that girl who I was, the fake one. The girl who he fell in love with. He doesn’t even need me, or know the real me. But I’m still here. Doing my best to keep up the charade.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems, any suggestions. Any reviews or comments welcome :)

Reviews

[Anjali]

Nicely penned piece of writing.

[Onlyme]

Great story that anyone can relate to. We all seek that place that takes us away from the stresses and strains of daily life. That quiet place. And then something or someone brings you back again. Nice blend of characters that go further into their stories and lives in general. And why you seek your own quiet places?

[Chris]

The perception of the reality within this "story" comes across strongly. You could grow this into almost any type of long term story.