I Will Be Fine

I Will Be Fine

There you standing,

Mocking my pain,

As I'm trying,

To make my way,

Through the big storm,

Through the fire,

Through the thick thorns,

Through the mire.

With confusion,

In the hard time,

I won't give up,

I will stand firm.

Though the ocean,

Drowning me now,

You just hold on,

I will be fine.

Author's Note

Still on my adventure.

What do you think of this?

Reviews

[Leo]

Original, optimistic and sincere. I enjoyed reading it. bblessed

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you so much, Leo.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[John the Baptist]

The poem begins on an accusatory note, as though defying someone who is mocking the speaker's pain. The next verses relate a fierce determination not to be overcome by the present difficulties, which are not specified. The last verse again speaks to the original addressee, though not as defiantly. It is simply the promise that "I will be fine." Hopefully no vengeance is intended.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

That's it, John.

[Chris Shaw]

Not just a mountain to climb, but climbing with the added burden of a heavy weight on one's back. No one should mock another's pain. That really resonated and also hurt to read. Nothing is easy in life for most people. You show determination in your words. I like that Kay.

Chris

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you for understanding my feeling, Chris.
I really appreciate that.

[Kelly Scheppers]

That's some force to push uphill, but negative energy will never amount to anything. I agree with Margie's suggestion, concerning the punctuation and capitalization in formatting your poem. Trust in the natural flow of your words.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Yes, thank you very much.
I'll work on the punctuation and character.
Thank you so much once again, Kelly.

[Kesch (Finding Julia)]

Kay, This is sincerely awesome, Love the set up as well. Love the words.
Very nicely written and set up.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you so much, Kescha.
I'm glad you love it.

[Li]

Ohhh, I just love this, the strength despite all odds!! Amazing Kay, as always!!

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you, Li!
I'm glad you love it!

[barleygirl]

I love your msg & how you use harsh-sounding imagery to suggest that the path is difficult. Most of all, I appreciate that you show the narrator drowning now, but determined that things will work out. As you've heard me say, inspirational writing sometimes ignores how hard it may be for some people to do the "rah! rah!" things that a poet tells them to do. Here you clearly empathize with how hard this will be & you show how it can still be done.

Since you are clearly interested in typesetting, I'm going to be picky with you now. When you capitalize at the start of each line & use comma at the end, you guide the reader to read this in choppy chunks, line by line. But you also use "enjambment" (where msg flows continuously from line to line) . . . so I would say, only capitalize at beginning of each verse & only use ending punctuation at the end of each verse. Those other capitals & commas interrupt a message that should be read in a more flowing way. Thanks for understanding my picky-ness! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Kelly Scheppers]

Great advice, Margie!

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you so much again, Margie.
You've always been amazing.
I try to adjust on that.
I'm really grateful.

[barleygirl]

Kelly, the compliment goes to Kay. She is literally a sponge that soaks up anything you give her. She's a hard-working writer, so it's a pleasure to try to share a few things I've learned! *smile*

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Another very positive piece but with a hesitant breath as the protagonist convinces themselves that their troubles, perceived or otherwise, will abate.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you so much for this wonderful review, John.