Sing That Lullaby Once More

I honestly don't remember why I wrote this one but, rereading it now...I have a feeling I was both pissed off at my Dad...and missing him at the same time...weird...oh well.

Sing That Lullaby Once More

Sep 6, 2011, 10:31:34 AM

 Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Daddy,
I'm not your little girl anymore.
Daddy,
Please don't make this harder than it already is.
Please,
It hurts enough
Without you crying too.
Please,
Promise me you'll be strong.

Daddy,
I'm not a baby.
I wish you could rock me
In your arms
And hum that lullaby
You composed on your piano
- remember?
The one that always lulled me to sleep,
Even when thunder shook my crib,
Or divorce tore you apart.
I wish I could still fit in the cradle
Of your warm, strong arms,
But I'm just not small enough anymore,
Daddy.
You can't protect me anymore,
I'm sorry.

Daddy,
Please just stop.
Daddy,
I'm not a child anymore.
You can't pull me into your lap
And kiss this better.
This is something that a band-aid
Will never fix.
So please,
Daddy, please,
Don't cry.
It makes this unbearable.

Daddy,
I know you want to save me
From the demons and monsters
Under my bed,
But please, Daddy,
Don't try anymore.
The monsters are inside my head now,
And I'm afraid they'll drag you down too.
Daddy,
I know it's hard,
But, Daddy,
Just remember that I'm growing up.
I'm not that toddler
Who drew chalk-drawings on your drive way,
Or dug up treasure in your flower beds.
I can take care of myself now.

Daddy,
I'm all grown up now.
I can tie my own shoelaces;
I can write essays and give debates.
Daddy,
I know it's hard to understand,
But I'm old enough now.
I'm old enough
To zip my own jacket,
To make my own sandwiches.
Daddy, please,
I know you can't understand,
But if I'm old enough to do those things
- to help myself -
Then aren't I old enough to harm myself?

Daddy,
Please don't cry.
Daddy,
Please don't be angry or sad.
I'm doing this because I have to,
Can't you understand that?
Daddy, please,
I don't want to argue anymore.
Please,
I don't want to fight.
Please,
I just want to be able to decide for myself
What's right and wrong.

Please, Daddy,
I know these dotted-lines
Disguise my wrist as someone else's,
But it's really me,
Daddy.
I know that's hard to understand,
But trust me,
Daddy,
I know what I'm doing.
So please, Daddy,
Don't cry.
Please,
It makes everything so much worse.
Please,
Just be strong.

Daddy,
I'm not your little girl anymore,
So, please,
Don't cry.
Please, daddy,
Hum it for me again?
Please, Daddy,
Sing that lullaby for me just once more
- I fear I may have forgotten it