I'll Run To You

 

 

  

Mommy,

Today daddy took me to a bar. He gave me a cup and told me to drink it. It looked like water, but it didn't taste like water. It made me feel sick and I threw up. Daddy got mad and when he took me to the bathroom to clean up, he hit me. He hit me really hard. I fell against the wall really hard and hit my head, but daddy didn't care. He picked me up again and when we left the bathroom, he smiled, said everything was fine and made me leave. I don't like how the boys at the bar look at me. After daddy and I left, he drove me to his friends house. He said there was going to be another girl, my age there. Do you know mommy that I am 7 now? I wished you were here for my birthday. Well mommy, when we walked into the house it smelled really bad. I saw the other girl. She was crying. I didn't know why. Before I could ask her why she was crying, daddy grabbed her by the hair and took her to the bedroom. He does that to me. I heard that girl yell just like I used to when daddy did that stuff to me. He touches me in funny places, and makes me do things that I don't like, because they hurt. But I don't cry or scream anymore because when I did daddy would take his belt and hit me on my back afterward. I hope he doesn't do that to her. Another boy came in the room after daddy. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into another room. He did the same thing daddy does, but this time hurt more then it usually does. Mommy, I wish you were here. Daddy never did this stuff when you were here. I wonder if you know what's happening and the rain that falls from the sky is really your tears. I don't know, but I love you mommy. I miss you...

Your Princess  

 

4/11/09

Journal,

The last time I wrote in you, I was seven years old. Looking back at that entry, I realize that nothing has changed. My father still takes me to bars, his friends and him still rape me and the same girl that was there that day I first wrote in you. I guess some things will never change. I’m 17 now and life sucks a*s. I’m a junior at East County High School. My father -not my dad- my father, still beats me. The only thing that’s changed about that is he beats me harder. He’ll use anything he can find. Two days ago he cut my arm with a beer bottle he broke in half. I find it hard to believe that I’m still alive. I should have ended my life the night that I had a chance. It was a cold December night. I was at dance practice and it ran over time. Instead of getting out at 8:30, we got out around 9:30 or 10. I didn’t mind. Dancing is my life, so what the hell really. I didn’t drive because I was only 15 and no one could give me a lift because they had to get home or be somewhere A.S.A.P. I threw my black track pants on and covered my Never Shout Never t-shirt with my black hoodie that said my name “Avery” in gold. I grabbed my duffle bag, turned the lights off in the practice room and got ready to walk home. I said goodbye to the ladies at the desk and opened the glass door. I couldn’t see anything and it was snowing. There’s two ways to get to my house from the dance studio. I chose the long way, thinking I could rest at the bridge if I needed. When I got to the bridge I sat down to rest. While I sat there freezing my a*s off, I thought “Jump. The water is either frozen or too cold and you’ll die either way.” I stood on the edge of the bridge. I threw my jacket off and ripped my track pants off. Man, I must have looked like a bloody idiot if anyone had seen me. I was standing on the edge of an 80 foot bridge in shorts and a t-shirt in negative 35 degree weather. I counted in my head to prepare my self. “1... Breathe 2... Breathe 3-” A voice came out of no where. “DON’T DO IT AVERY!” It screamed at me. The voice didn’t seem familiar so I wondered how they knew my name. I wasn’t very social and only 2 people talked to me. The voice defiantly wasn’t either of theirs. I looked around but I couldn’t see anything because it was so dark. All I knew was that the voice was coming from the back street and the person was probably standing right in the middle listening to me count out loud. I heard running and before I knew it I was in the cold snow on the same side of the bridge that I was sitting on moments before. A body was on top of me but it was too dark to make out who it was. They whispered what sounded like “I love you” to me and then took off. Still to this day, I don’t know who it was but I wouldn’t thank them if I knew. It would have been so much easier just to be gone. Anyway, the reason I’m writing all of this to you is because I’m running away. That’s right. In 2 days I’m leaving the hell hole and I’m gone. I don’t know where I’m going but I’m going somewhere. Anywhere. Anywhere as long as it’s far away from here. My friends John and Anna have no idea what’s going on but I’m going to tell them today at lunch, which is after this period. Now, if you knew a bit more about me, you’d wonder why I’m doing this. Well, I have my reasons that you may never know but I will introduce myself. I’m Avery. I’m 17 years old and I’ve lived with my father for 12 years. My mother died when I was 5. Since my mother died, my father became abusive. When I was young, he said I was a spitting image of the woman he loved. If he loved my mother so much, why would he hurt me? From stories he’s told, my mother never did anything to him. I guess he has his reasons that I’ll never know. Anyway, I’m an A/B student and a dancer. I’ve been dancing since I was 2. Music is my escape from life and I have 2 of the best friends in the world John and Anna. I’ve never dated anyone and I’ve always been good at telling lies. I guess it comes with having to tell your teacher a new story everyday about the new scar or bruise on your arms or legs. I live in East Michigan and I love to write. The bell just rang for lunch so I’m going to head out to tell John and Anna my plan. Wish me luck!

+1 Avery

 

Reviews

[LostinKristina]

awe.
and that's about all i can say.

because i just don't really have words to describe this.

[Kelley]

This was very sad and I HOPE IT WAS NOT TRUE?