Love?

Um, i'm not so sure what this is, what it should be or watever. This is just something I'm going through and something I wrote.

 

Part 1

 

Love is a word taken out of my vocabulary.

Nothing good comes from it.

Saying it, hearing it, even thinking it.

What is love?

Is it indescribable?

Maybe i'll never know.

I don't wanna know.

Should I?

Why are there so many questions following the "L" word?

I thought I "L'd" someone and maybe I did.

But now i'll never know.

That person has hurt me too many times.

And what did I do?

You ask?

I was stupid and took them back.

Each time I got hurt, each time I took them back.

Was I stupid?

Can you answer any of my questions?

Can I?

Do I even know what i'm talking about?

Good question.

The truthful answer is I don't know.

I don't know anything anymore.

I'm lost.

You know, like that song "I'm lost" by Michael Buble.

Good song.

So...Is love anything besides a word?

An indescribable feeling?

A question that will never be answered?

 

Part 2

 

Love is a game.

It shouldn't be played.

It's frustrating.

I don't like it.

Have you found answers to my questions?

I have not.

Oops.

I realize I've used that word again.

That word that has caused me so much pain.

So much drama.

I can't love a person without getting hurt.

My heart is broken.

You know my favorite song by Paramore.

"My heart"

The line "My heart is your heart" inspires me.

It makes me think that maybe if I try,

I'll find a person that I can "L".

As for now Lydia there is no one.

No one who will not hurt me.

Life is a hurtful,

Twisted game.

"L" is a game even worse.

I'm not ready to get hurt again.

I mean think about it.

After so many people hurt you,

Would you want to get hurt by someone new?

I didn't think so.

You know why?

I've been there,

Done that,

and FELT it.

That feeling that your heart is ripped apart.

That feeling that your heart is gone.

Your cold.

Nothing matters.

I've been there.

Lydia?

Am I meant for all this pain?

Do people enjoy my sufferings?

 

Part 3

 

Has the "L" word ever crossed your mind?

I thought being Bi was easier.

Girls from a girls perspective are easier to deal with then guys.

Right?

WRONG!

Girls are even worse.

They are viscous.

Getting hurt by a girl is worse then getting hurt by a guy.

Why?

You ask again.

My only answer.

Because I thought I could trust this person.

I'm through with taking chances.

I'll turn every one down if I have to.

I'm not getting hurt.

Not anymore...

 

And with that....Lydia's life was gone.

Author's Note

Sooooo...*nervous laugh* uh yea that was what I wrote. Um, comment, review. Whatever you want.

Reviews

[Lilac_Everly]

That is really awesome, it has emotion and it makes me think. Makes me think about someone I know, I like the way you write!