Thurs, Aug 20th, 10:44pm, 2015, Summer

Thurs, Aug 20th, 10:44pm, 2015, Summer

I ran away last night. Well, sort of. I just didn't come home. That's more like staying away then running away in my opinion. Staying away is for the better. I just stayed at my boyfriends. I didn't really want too. He just wants to hold me close and cuddle the entire night. But, for someone like me who's claustrophobic and has anxiety, I'd rather us have our corners of the bed and stay separate. Like our own countries. Own universes. The whole reason is because of my mom. It seems so typical to have parental disputes as a teenager but , this is a little different. My mother never really physically abused me. She'd smack me, flick me in the mouth, and spank me as a kid. Which now is considered child abuse, but my mom abuses me a different way. Mentally. Which I think is worse. Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me... Unless spoken by my parents. She provides for me, like a mother should. Feeds me, puts a roof over my head, clothes on my back, sends me to school. However, I could write pages and pages and pages about how she is manipulative, bi-polar, two-faced, hypocritical, abusive, mind boggling, and a liar. But I won't. Instead I'll just tell you, whom it may concern, and myself, that what to remember is that you only have one birth mother. Some are unfortunate enough to have no mother whatsoever. It is important to remember and embrace the luck you have , but if the relationship hurts more than it is worth, move on. Don't let your growing mind be shoved into a dark corner because of the words someone else says, even if it's your mom. Doesn't matter who. If someone makes you feel so low about yourself , sending your self worth into the negatives, let yourself have some peace and let them go. I'm trying right now. Its hard. She's my mother. But I'm starting to go literally insane and I'm just waiting for my skull to crack.