You wouldn't mind would you??? Part 2

The reverse extreme of writing.

“She sat on a barstool, peering into the opaque liquid in the glass before her.

‘You ok hon?’ She looked up to see the girl on the stool next to her staring at her; worried eyes focused on the tear tracks on her face.

‘I just need to talk to someone, you wouldn’t mind would you???’”

That was easy... you're hooked and it only took four lines of a seemingly mundane and common beginning.

Words on a page, so innocuous, so harmless, surely it’s impossible that they could pose a threat? It’s just a story, just paragraphs of sentences of words. It’s not something real; it can only affect you as much as you let it right? But then again, you’re still here, still reading this, and you won’t stop until I say you can.

Its just a game to me now, it took nothing to change the insignificant groups of letters on a page from something casually interesting, to something threatening. Of course, you probably still think you’re in control and maybe you’re right; maybe the words on this page have no effect on you. 

So stop, prove your point. Give up on finding out where I’m going with all this. I don't mind.

Still here??

I figured you would be. I’m in control right now, from the instant you began reading I was inside your mind, the atypical devil, whispering secrets into your ear. You’ve done it to me before, hooked me with your intricate characters, your twisted plots. I’ve not done anything you haven’t; I’m just not bothering to hide my intent. The same intent I’m sure, that you all have when you write. To get inside someone’s mind, to effect the way they think. That’s all I’ve done here, but somehow this is much more threatening to you.

There’s no need for concern, I can’t make you stand up and set your house on fire… I can’t do anything so drastic, but you’ve given me a lot of control. Me, a figure you know nothing about, who could be dead or alive, but who lives and manipulates in your mind at this minute. Hell, if I do it well enough, I’ll still be inside your mind long after you’ve turned away from the screen.

I’m sorry, do I still scare you? You can leave if you like, put down the page and stop reading, but I think you’re beginning to understand the impulse, I could leave nothing but dots… trailing down the page and you would follow them, you are trapped by your own human curiosity. Through no one’s fault but your own, you are here, and you will stay here until I’m done, because that’s the power of a writer if they write well enough. Not, of course that i assume to be that great... but then again... you're still here.

Still reading??? I thought you might have left by now in pure indignation at my narcissistic assumptions in possessing your mind like this.  

No???

Luckily for you, I’m just a simple soul, taking a break from weaving the webs of kings and queens, lovers and murders and manipulating the lines that link them all together. I’ll only be in your mind for a little while, and then, unless you really like me, you’ll be free to leave me forever.  I’m only ever in your mind for a little while, and I usually make my entrance in a much softer kinder way.

You wouldn't mind would you???

Author's Note

Just like the last story, I've written to an extreme here. I'm not this narcissistic about my work.

Reviews

[DrD]

Okay Kaya, I've read your work and even some of the reviews including the most negative ones. Just remember there are too many idiots in this world. And some accept the burden of proving it. The thing I really, really like about your work is the experimental part of it and you had the courage to pull it off. Everyone writing below me fell for it as much as I did and we loved being tricked, controlled and manipuated. A truly excellent piece of very original work!

[Craig2591]

But... what happened to the two women on the barstool?!

Very good, and sooooo true! Very clever! Well written. The only error I saw was "worried eye's" shouldn't have an apostrophe.

[Southern Cross]

Very creative and oh so very different in it's approach and the way it plays into our curiosity..Follow you till the end ? ...Oh I wouldn't mind at all !!!

[Odayin]

I like how you mentioned the true intent we all possess. To get inside peoples mind. How you mentioned how powerful writers truly are. How you mentioned that do to our naturally curiosity, we will stay and read until we are finished...until we, ourselves, are satisfied. I'm inviting you, the reader, right now to leave, just because I know you won't. There are still several more lines that entangle secrets you wish to behold.
I loved it Kaya, I really did. Great idea for writing and how you almost make us expose a little bit more of ourselves as we read each piece. Very great job, and well done.
Can't wait to see what's next:)

[Celeste]

I really enjoyed reading this piece. How you talked to the reader, tickling the mind to question his own thoughts, was amazing. Like Coyote said, the story just got better and better with each paragraph. I love the words you used -- so perfect.

This has to be my favorite line here: "You are trapped by your own human curiosity." Simple, but powerful.

Great job. Keep writing!

[Coyote Poetry]

"Words on a page, so innocuous, so harmless, surely it’s impossible that they could pose a threat? "
I enjoyed this story. The conversation brought me in. I like the places you took me with your words. The story got better with each paragraph. I like the question at the end. Thank you for the excellent story.
Coyote