Hidden Past

Work trumps Pleasure

"So you're back."

There was a finality to the statement though there seemed to be no clear indication of what John thought of the fact. Kara hesitated, willing her body not to step back, not to show any weaknesses.

"Looks that way." She forced some levity into her tone, trying to fill the silence with a noise less dead than his monotone.

They were the words of strangers, she was a stranger in a place that should have felt like coming home. This whole place had a blanket over it, as thought nothing had changed since she lift. The dust swirling around her pickups stolen plates already beginning to settle down to cover the tracks she'd left. The past was lightly buried under their feet, hidden from sight but barely below the surface. It was his speciality, hiding.

The silence began to draw, his eyes frozen as they started at her. Silence was usually just a part of the job, but the job usually didn't involve the judgement she feel rolling from his eyes. It didn't usually involve the guilt stirring into the pit of her stomach.

"It was last minute" she blurted her head falling slightly to break his gaze. "I didn't have a choice..." She broke off as she saw his shoulders tighten. He rocked back onto his feet and turned away from her, putting his oil soaked rag onto the chair he had propped up against the edge of the tractor.

"You're not that stupid K. You could have told me."

"As if you would have let me go. Do you honestly think there would have been anything you could have done. It's not like I did this without thinking." His face tightened even harder. He wasn't listening anymore, she knew that look. She was handling everything wrong and she knew it. This was work, it shouldn't be any different to any other job, but this was John. It would always be different. She stared hungrily at his face, her heart breaking with every new line creasing across it. Sighing, she shook her head.

"John you have to believe I didn't know that was an option. I had no idea who you were back then but we both knew Donny."

He tipped his head in acknowledgement with a wry grimace, one eyebrow raising in question.

This was what she had dreaded, even more than coming here. She'd known deep down that John would forgive her for what had happened. Whether he could forgive this would be a different matter.

"Her name is Corrie, her husband was an enforcer of the Drasco Cartell." Her eyes plead with him for understanding but his eyes had already moved across to the tool chest in the back of the pickup. "His 'enforcing' wasn't restricted to work and she's willing to talk to the cops." He scoffed lightly in disbelief.

"That's why you haven't been back. You're one of THEM now." He turned back to the engine behind him, resting heaving on it for a long moment. "This is work for you. "

She shored up the defences on her heart as it splintered again, he'd still hoped. There'd been pain in the decision to come here for here, but a lot of that pain had been tied into the belief, the fear that he'd moved on. To know that he was still here, still hurting, It was more than she was ready to deal with.

"Yes."

He moved forward, jumping into the tray of the Ute. He unclipped the tool chest bolted against the frame.

"Cmon Honey." He murmured, helping a young mess of curly blonde hair up out of the chest and jumping down off of the tray to lift her down. "You'll be safe here.".

Kara's chest tightened watching him take care of her. His arm loosely linked around Corrie's waist as he supported her across and into the house. Kara shut her eye's knowing what Corrie would be seeing in there. The soft old couch heaven after what she had been though so far, the radio gently playing soothing instrumental music while the light danced in sparks across the wall as it wound around the leaves of the beech tree outside that window. She'd be seeing the first safety she'd seen in weeks and it was wrong, Kara reminded herself, to be jealous of that.

She saw the door move as John made his way back out to where she where she stood and spun back to the Ute, wresting herself away from the memories flooding her mind.

"Here's what we have" She announced turning again to find John too close behind her. "It's probably going to be about three months." She stammered, the fragments of memories drawing closer at the smell of him drifting towards her. He took the file, stepping back as he weighed in his hand. He stared at it as though it would have more answers than she knew to be true before turning that same gaze to her.

"They needed me." She said in hopeless explanation, her hand coming up to rest tentatively on his shoulders.

"For four years?" His expression made it clear that he wasn't asking, not really but she stammered anyway before giving up.

"You'll keep her hidden?"

"Three months" He promised, making his way back to the house. The dust settling into the past with each step.

Author's Note

Hey,
So I don't really write anymore, but I'm wondering if it's something I should start again. I wrote and posted this all in one foul swoop and with no re-reading because i'm sure I'll lose my nerve if I wait another second, so I'm sure there's a lot of grammar and/or spelling errors. Let me know if this is something I should be picking back up again though.