Daughter

I thing that I wrote to deal with a joke phone call my dad made to me.

You were joking, 

So I laughed. 

Pretending, 

And I broke. 

All the while, 

Being buried alive, 

By the guilt, the shame, the desire. 

To be the daughter you imagined. 

And the tears attempted to flow, 

But I held them in, cos I had to. 

Controlled my breathing, with everything I had. 

And the deception worked, because you missed it. 

I gave you what I could, what I can, of the daughter you deserve.

I give you all I've got, everything I have, to be the daughter you forged me to be.

I will give you everything I could be, every possible outcome of my life, to see you smile. 

I will sacrifice who I am, to be who it is you need me to be, just for you to be okay with who I am.

For me to be enough.