Looking On

i saw her sitting on the stool,

sipping away at her 

Starbucks coffee,

the steam sensually swaying 

its hips between her eyes,

but she was tentatively 

gazing out of the 

window.

what was it that she saw?

the rows of cars, 

people pouring in 

and out of them,

the daylight sliding across

a cloudless hot sky,

while sirens cried

in the distance?

was it the sun giving in 

to lamplights on city streets,

or the occasional dog 

sniffing every yard of concrete,

looking for something

like she was,

in focused silence,

searching? 

was she just observational,

a self-taught professor,

curiously passing time

in a place where 

nobody knew her

and couldn’t criticize

her judgment of 

small people,

of ordinary things?

i could’ve sworn it was deeper,

in the way she watched,

lips slightly apart,

brows gently furrowed,

her chin pressed down

into the anchor of her palm,

weighted by her absence,

holding her 

statue in place.

i assume,

she had gone somewhere far-off,

where snow fell slowly,

caught by the open mouths

of tongue-less roses

singing their tributes

to a peaceful world,

undisturbed by grief,

where spirits flow

like Niagara Falls,

totally free.

i leaned back into my seat

with the envy of a tree

watching a bird fly,

then with deep longing 

as she woke from her dream,

checked her noisy watch,

grabbed her bag,

and disappeared from view

taking with her

the answer

to the great escape.

Reviews

[Pete]

a lot gathered from a seemingly trivial encounter. there's an old saying - "penny for your thoughts." we do that don't we? very relatable. interesting trying to size someone up. trying to find our way into their daydream. everyone is looking for an escape and you've written a stairway to one. good, smooth flow, grabbed and held attention all the way through. especially love the innocent, nonchalant ending leaving things open. we're almost jealous when someone holds the key to a getaway that we desire. a lot can be packed into the suitcase of this quick getaway. good stuff ... :)

[Kay]

I can't believe I missed this review, thank you so much for your kind comments Pete! I love the way you phrased this: "everyone is looking for an escape and you've written a stairway to one" ^_^. I'm a fan of that old saying too, but I think I'd go broke with my curious nature haha. Hope you've been well!

[nazia]

Observations... They change the entire meaning of the scenario from person to person. Especially liked your description when the narrator wondered what the girl saw
what was it that she saw?

the rows of cars,
people pouring in
and out of them,
the daylight sliding across
a cloudless hot sky,
while sirens cried
in the distance?
A beautiful expression of solitude. Very interesting read :)

[Kay]

I find that fascinating too! Are we projecting our own meaning according to our personal emotional/mental states, or are we sometimes more attentive and present than usual so we notice things we would have usually overlooked?

Thanks for your review, Nazia! =)

[MarkAndTheOcean]

Wonderful little poem! I enjoyed the many ways you described the girl from her posture to her gaze and the envious way the narrator is watching her, very lonely but content.
I'm looking forward to reading more of your writings, Keep it up!

[Kay]

You have a nice appreciation for details. =) Thank you for your compliments, I look forward to reading your writing as well!

[Lorry]

Glad to see it's not only me that fills in the blanks while people watching, directing their biography mentally as they carry on regardless.
Perhaps this could be the opening of a book, where you continue the action, playing out all the possibles and maybes that she took with her on leaving 😀
We should start an appeal to find and interview her. Enquiring minds need to know.
A lovely piece of writing, with the ending feeling like a cliffhanger. Perhaps until the next instalment, or until she's found. 😀

[Kay]

That's an interesting way to phrase it, "directing their biography". I like that a lot, haha. Because every person is an embodiment of a story, there's so much to wonder about and our actions leave room for different paths of interpretation. Who, why, what, where, when, and how is this person?

I'm considering your idea to maybe turn this into a short story. =) Or stalk her and ask for an interview, haha. But there's a beautiful mystery in the unknown.

Thank you so much for your generous compliments Lorry, sending warm wishes your way!

[Jibey]

A lovely cameo of a woman lost in her dreams, in the surroundings of a cafe, where so many of us sit and stare, or people watch, or fiddle with our phones, or mull over events that occupy our minds... The poet observes and reflects and we are enriched by the moment. Life is full of unanswered questions; people catch our attention and then disappear into the streams of time. I enjoyed this read immensely.

[Kay]

I think your words perfectly describe our experiences with life's subtle moments: "we are enriched". Thank you for reading this piece, I enjoy your responses. =)

[Chris Shaw]

You took me to the scene Kay. I enjoyed your observational skills and the way your mind meandered to find solutions. Nicely penned with good description.

Chris

[Kay]

Thank you for your lovely compliments Chris! =) Sorry for the late reply, been super busy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

okay, besides having the kind of imagery that had us right there at the same table with you observing her.
you made me think of Emily Dickinson's "because i could not stop for death"----
which to me is about a woman too busy in her life to stop, even for death. So he being a gentleman comes to pick her up and show her what she is missing by being so involved in life.
this woman at your coffee shop is momentarily stopping to really smell the coffee...and to just observe, take it all in...
we don't do that enough....
nicely done.
j.

[Kay]

It means a lot to have you mention Emily Dickinson, I enjoy her poetry! I totally agree with you on that - I think we're quite familiar with the phrase "stop to smell the roses" but we frequently forget that it's also important to stop and notice other people. I mean, REALLY notice someone. We walk past others like motions in a blur, thoughts running through our minds that are generally self-consuming. It's amazing when you give your full and genuine attention to another human being, sort of in the same way you would a painting.

Thank you for taking time to share your thoughts, Jacob. =)

[Digvijay Singh]

Wow. This has so many things to appreciate.
"Envy of a tree watching a bird fly"
Such an amazing piece of writing ❤️

[Kay]

Aw that's so kind, thank you for your compliments! I'm glad you enjoyed that line, it's interesting to think about those different perspectives. =)

[Einstein Noodle]

:) she sat there quite a while ... daylight giving in to lamp light .. strong setting and scene making .. and can't help but connect with her wistful soul ... i like the people watching people watching aspect .. kind of unique and creative .. lots of delightful personifications .. especially like the "..envy of a tree watching a bird fly" ... very emotive for me .. love the tree .. never have thought of them wanting more than rooted, reaching and swaying in the wind ;) ..killer closing says i .. and we simply will never know will we :} enjoyed all of this .. thanks for sharing Kay
E.

[Kay]

I really appreciate your comments, thank you very much! =)