Contrition of the Passive Heart

i saw her lying in a ball

tucking her knees against her knotted breasts

mumbling to herself “i’m so selfish”

for taking time to bathe her muddy skin

soothe her bruises with fresh ointment

comb out the tangles in her hair

dress herself in new, warm clothes

dance to a different rhythm

before the judges got off their high stools

in melancholy, hooded robes

pushed her over with their word-speared sticks

kicking up the acid in her stomach

lighting red asteroids around her thoughts

causing a disastrous orbit

as she rocks in the blinding blur of injury

purging her willingness to self-love

Reviews

[Perdition]

Love the design, but for the brief quotation marks, it follows in the Indian footsteps of rupi kaur's style. "lighting red asteroids around her thoughts" and "and "self-love" that pokes at the heart... "self-love", balancing the poem between what is used (a possible burning mental cigarette) and where this reader wants to go which is "self-loathe" brought on by the assailants, and what the flavor of each word suggests in a first-handed second-hand style. My opinion but all the same ..Very smooth. Thanks~

[Kay]

It's nice to meet another writer who's familiar with Rupi Kaur's work, she has an interesting style and knows how to strike a heartstring. I appreciate the feedback, thank you for taking time to review this.

[Perdition]

"Smooth as milk and thick as honey and pulling the words like the remnants of a gunshot" ...a pleasure.

[Ghost]

Women sometimes take such a bad time from the judgement on them from men, from women, from themselves... The judgement is not good for them and it seems there is no help... it only takes one person to start helping so keep the faith... Thank you for sharing

[Kay]

It's also sad when a person is punished for exhibiting self-love. But it's important and necessary to care for yourself. Thank you for the review. =)