Love is the Only Larger Strength

I don't quite no where this came from because I am not currently in a relationship nor am I suicidal. It just kind of came to me... :)

It was there in the dim lighting of my bedroom where I discovered the only thing stronger than my need to end it all. There where I could find no strength in my deflated self-worth to stain the pure, white bed sheets with tears and scattered pills for my caretakers to find when morning comes. There were a variety of colored little tablets burned in the pale skin of my palm where I realized that I was loved; where I realized that taking myself down would also annihilate the few people I had tricked into caring about me. Even though it was such an unreliable thing, love…  I still couldn't bring myself to end my life no matter how hellish it had become.  No matter what I thought, no matter who hated me… my life was no longer only mine. The disappearance of my parents no longer burned so brightly, the hatred of my sister and her husband no longer seemed to rule my world for I had found my diamond in the rough, my light at the end of the tunnel, my gift from whatever may live above that gave me the strength to realize that a future for me really does exist. Him. It’s him who makes life seem so much more tolerable and him who even makes the constant struggle to fight, not only myself, but everyone around me seem worth it, even plausible. And I realize that putting a weight that heavy on someone who has no obligation to remain by my side is stupid, dangerous even, but I couldn't find it in myself to care because I had finally found someone who would fight the horrors of the world right beside me and tuck me under their arm to fight everything on their own when I was too weak to continue. He picks me up and sets me on my feet after every battle and heals my wounds with loving words that cast a spell on me even the most vile of words could not break. He is my savior and I don’t think I could continue living in a world without him so I make the decision to put the pills down and save them for the day that my savior would become weary of fighting and push me aside for a girl who was not a shattered mosaic of a broken family and a string of endless pills to fix my sadness. Little did I know at my time of weakness, that day would never come because the only thing stronger than my need to end it all was his love for me and my love for him. 

Author's Note

Opinions welcomed. :) x

Reviews

[John Ryan]

very interesting poem, different than from what i normally see

[DrawingABlank]

Thank you. :)